What’s your sign? Check out your Funny Horoscope June 2018, and the outlook for all those jerks you know, right here!
What? You don’t even believe in astrology? No matter, it doesn’t believe in you! And you could be wrong. Just in case, here’s your Funny Horoscope June 2018. Be sure to share your friends’ snarky outlooks with them, too!
|Aries: The fire of Summer fuels your inner fire this month, making you prone to explosions and susceptible to internal combustion – neither of which have historically played-out well.|
|Taurus: Now is definitely the time to get off your ass and be more active. Think hiking and swimming – not bars and malls.|
|Gemini: Happy Birthday, fellow Twins! This should be a great time for you, so long as you don’t put your personality under some ridiculous bipartisan structure.|
|Cancer: This month the Universe asks you to nurture others with words. This will only be difficult if you try to do it via posting Youtube comments.|
|Leo: Venus enters Leo on May 13th, which will have a romantic, passionate effect on your love life – or just increase your addiction to porn.|
|Virgo: With your ruling planet, Mercury, in Gemini this month, your communications will reach new heights of verbal expression – just remember, the Russell Brand type of Twin energy will not work-out well for you in the long-run.|
|Libra: Sometimes your desire for balance and justice is imbalanced and selfish. Instead of going on strike for money, try restructuring the cesspool of misinformation.|
|Scorpio: You stick-out like a sore nose, yet you hide in the galleys of sub-normal. Sure, you have no problem seeing in the dark, but even Ninjas have no way of controlling what lies in the night.|
|Sagittarius: It’s easier for you to live-up to your Archer potential in the summer, but if you wildly aim at everything for your own ends, you’ll wind-up with a stock-pile of currency that means nothing and a whole lot of debt.|
|Capricorn: With all the other signs dancing around in the Summer energy like fire fairies, you, however, may find-it difficult to breathe this month. Just remember, exhales are for release, not calling other people names.|
|Aquarius: Others likely perceive you as a pillar of social success. What they don’t see is the chaos and transiency that intertwines your life like a ball of yarn covered in pieces of used cat litter.|
|Pisces: You don’t fit-in anywhere. That doesn’t mean you can fit everyone else into a padded bra or jock-box – or break the membranes of lemmings.|