The Ten Commandments as Rewritten by ISIS

Take a look at how ISIS commandeered the Ten Commandments.

Ten CommandmentsWhat might be surprising to many is that the Muslim religion actually considers the Bible to be a Holy book and a source of prophecy. However, the more extreme elements of Mohammedanism have rewritten certain famous aspects of the Old Testament to better reflect their version of Islam.  For instance, take a look at how they commandeered the Ten Commandments.

The Ten Commandment as originally written in the Bible:

I am the Lord thy god.
1. Ye shall have no other gods before me.
2. Ye shall have no other graven images or likenesses.
3. Ye shall not take the Lord’s name in vain.
4. Remember the Sabbath Day.
5. Honor thy father and thy mother.
6. Thou shalt not kill.
7. Thou shalt not commit adultery.
8. Thou shalt not steal.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness (lie).
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors belongings.

The Ten Commandments as re-written by ISIS:

We are the Lords over you whether you like it or not.
1. No other gods — we will slay them and you.
2. No graven images or likenesses — we need to loot these to sell to collectors.
3. Do not take the Lord’s name in vain, or ours for that matter. Unless you like having your tongue cut out, of course.
4. Remember the Sabbath day — We won’t be working that day but you have to since you are now our slaves.
5. Honor thy father and thy mother — even if we did execute them.
6. Thou shalt not kill us. But we can kill whoever we damn well please because we are holy men.
7. You cannot commit adultery, but we will rape your sister in the name of Allah.
8. Thou shalt not steal, but we need to finance our terrorism so for us it is OK.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness (lie), but the only lie we do is believing we are doing the will of God.
10. Thou shalt not covet whatever you want but it is OK for us to steal because we are the chosen Ones and all else are infidels, even the Muslims who fight against us. Therefore it is OK for us to take anything we want.

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Roger Freed
rfreed has a fertile, if somewhat warped, imagination. Read him at your own risk! More laugh gaffes available at Semi-Humorous Humor.