The Jerry Duncan Show Interviews Kellyanne and George Conway

Wherein our intrepid radio talk show host interviews White House Counselor Kellyanne Conway and her husband George Conway.

ANNOUNCER

Live from under a rock in your backyard, it’s The Jerry Duncan Show.

JERRY

Good morning listeners nationwide. Is it a good morning? We’ll soon find out. Today on the show my guest is White House Counselor Kellyanne Conway and her husband George.

Kellyanne Conway and her husband George ConwayKELLYANNE CONWAY

See Jerry. I’m willing to go into any den to talk about our wonderful president.

GEORGE CONWAY

I tweeted and repeat “His stupidity knows no bounds.”

KELLYANNE

Stop it. You’re just jealous, because he didn’t hire you for a prominent role in the Justice Department.

GEORGE

No. I decided not to join the Trump administration. “It’s like a shit show in a dumpster fire.”

JERRY

Hold on there. You introduced Kellyanne to Trump when you two were living in The Trump Tower.

GEORGE

I take the fifth.

KELLYANNE

Yeah. He cried like a baby at Trump’s inauguration.

GEORGE

I did not.

KELLYANNE

George is lying. I saw him. He did, he did, he did.

GEORGE

Jerry. The difference between a knife and Kellyanne is that a knife has a point.

KELLYANNE

You’re sleeping on the couch tonight. Make that a month.

JERRY

Hard to believe these two knuckleheads are lawyers. Kellyanne graduated from George Washington University Law School and George from Harvard Law School.

GEORGE

I’m the lawyer. Kellyanne is a liar.

KELLYANNE

How dare you, Pork Chops. I never lie.

GEORGE

When you worked on the 2016 Ted Cruz campaign, you said Trump was “vulgar” and “unpresidential.”

KELLYANNE

That’s not a lie. It’s the truth.

GEORGE

Now you say he’s the greatest president ever.

KELLYANNE

Let me get back to you on that one.

JERRY

Trump lied 7,000 times since he took office.

KELLYANNE

Make that 9,000 times. See, I do tell the truth. The problem is that my husband talks behind my back to his ex-lover Laura Ingraham.

JERRY

Laura Ingraham is what happens when you leave Ann Coulter in the microwave too long. The smartest person on Fox is Homer Simpson.

GEORGE

I love my wife. Fake news.

KELLYANNE

The only reason anybody knows George is because of me. Me, me, me. I did everything. Built our $7 million dollar Mediterranean home off Embassy Row and raised four kids while George was busy tweeting. It’s amazing I found time for a face lift.

JERRY

Too bad the surgery didn’t work.

KELLYANNE

For your information, I look prettier than when I was Miss Blueberry in 1982.

JERRY

Kellyanne. How do you keep a blonde busy?

KELLYANNE

I don’t know.

JERRY

Write “flip” on both sides of a sheet of paper.

GEORGE

(laughs) That’s funny.

JERRY

Hey, Shorty.

GEORGE

You talking to me?

JERRY

(sarcastic) No. I’m talking to LeBron James.

GEORGE

Just saying.

JERRY

Why do midgets always laugh when playing soccer?

GEORGE

No clue.

JERRY

The grass tickles their balls.

KELLYANNE

I don’t get it.

JERRY

Kellyanne. Name one intelligent thing Trump has said since becoming president.

KELLYANNE

Just last week he said the only way to reduce nuclear weapons is to use them.

JERRY

I rest my case. See you tomorrow everyone.

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Dean Kaner

Dean Kaner

Dean B. Kaner is a playwright and screenwriter, having co-produced and co-written plays for the stage with performances in New York City, Chicago, Minneapolis, Los Angeles, Boston, Detroit, Phoenix and Memphis.