Top 10 Excuses George Washington’s AG Gave the Town Crier

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Mueller III has his Barr – Mueller the 1st had a Town Crier… aka ‘The Fixer’

Town Crier

Not too many people know that President George Washington was brought up on charges retroactively for chopping down the Cherry Tree as a youth – but I just happened to find the Report – well, sort of a summation:

Town Crier

10.  THE TREE WAS GOING TO DIE ANYWAY!

9.   Pfft – EVER HEAR OF ‘CHERRY ELM DISEASE’?

  8.  GEORGE SAID HE MAY NEED IT FOR TEETH SOME DAY!

  7.  C’mon, his Mother egged him on – SOMETHING ABOUT ‘ONE MORE FRIGIN’ PIE’!

  6.  Deny her dying wish? A CHERRY WOOD COFFEE TABLE!

  5.  What would you do – HIS FATHER SAID, ‘BRING ME A SWITCH’!  

4.  There was no collusion – HIS WUSSY NEIGHBOR-FRIEND BACKED OUT!

3.  He couldn’t have done it – HE HAD TENNIS ELBOW!

2.  WOULD YOU BELIEVE PTSD?

And, the #1 Excuse George Washington’s Attorney General gave the Town Crier…

YOU’RE BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE – HIS AX WAS AT THE CLEANERS!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.

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