If You Can’t Stand the Heat… Get Out of the White House

“We’ll always have Mar-a-Lago”…

Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out of the White House

Heard on Air Force One after the release of the redacted Mueller Report:

MELANIA

So, how was your day?

DONALD

Shut up.

MELANIA

Tonight, promise me you won’t wear your striped pajamas – I always feel like it’s a Conjugal Visit!

DONALD

You’re right – I do look thinner in the vertical ones!

MELANIA

It’s all an illusion, isn’t it?

DONALD

Yes, I think Nixon said that.

MELANIA

Do you think you’re gonna get caught?

DONALD

I returned the library books last Friday.

MELANIA

I kinda like our denial game we have going on – don’t you?

DONALD

It works.  Everything works, doesn’t it – my little beneficiary.

MELANIA

I heard you may get 5 to 10.

DONALD

That McDonald’s – always wants to short-nugget me!

MELANIA

Honey, we can always change to Chick-fil-A.

DONALD

I don’t want to make any rash decisions – I think it was our delivery boy with sticky fingers.

MELANIA

You know, our Chef can make those for you – all you want.

DONALD

No, I like the Toys!

MELANIA

Is that your Birth Certificate in pencil over there?

DONALD

Yes, how do you think I get the Toys?

MELANIA

Didn’t you make a big deal about Obama’s Birth Certificate?

DONALD

What do I care – I have a Base that eats that stuff up!

MELANIA

Well, that was a quick flight…

…what are all those people with MAGA hats & bows & arrows circling in wagons doing on our lawn?

DONALD

Get…get Pocahontas on the phone – tell her I apologize & bring her Peace Pipe & a beer!

Can't Stand the Heat, Get Out of the White House

MELANIA

How?

DONALD

What are you – a Comedian?  Okay, get Barr – he’s always good for a Blanket!

 

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic who started out in the DC/MD/VA area, moved to the Bay Area in Northern California and now resides in L.A. She has sold jokes to Joan Rivers, lesser lights and gag magazines, and is a screenwriter, playwright and author of non-fiction.