Deconstructing Presidential Campaigns… One Corn Dog at a time!

Corn Dog

Q: How do you eat a corn dog in Iowa without it being on the cover of ‘Whips & Chains’?

Corn Dog

Starting with George Washington – yes, you can go get a sandwich.

But, it’s not necessary, his campaign was so short – they just announced, ‘You’re it’!

Not because he didn’t deserve to be vetted; but because back then they died young & times a wastin’!

Campaigning in Canada – it’s 5 weeks. 

In France – 3 months. 

Australia – 6 weeks.

Brussels has an even quicker turnover beating them all…’Well, tomorrow, if you can make it’!

The length of John Kennedy’s campaign was a short 10 months – where the most outrageous insult was the other guy needed a shave.  Oh yeah & that ‘Catholic’ thing.

So, we’ve had a Black, a Woman, a Gay, a Jew & okay, Marianne Williamson – come up to the plate!

Personally, I’m waiting for an American Indian to throw in his Tomahawk; and can’t wait to hear his ‘back story’!

But, now since Trump’s first campaign; everything’s fair game – your Genitals have to campaign with you; like a Sidekick!

Thank G-d a Ruler only goes up to 12 inches!  ha ha

What really happened on the 2016 campaign trailwill happen again this time is ‘Negative Sound Bites’ ad nauseum.

I say we better get something for the nauseum & it’s legal now in California where they even deliver! 

I don’t want to brag; but I buy the Cheetos & Fritos without a prescription because I know people.

As far as ‘spilling the beans’ on your opponent goes – it’s the ‘ol history repeating itself’ deal…

…rumor has it that one sultry night when Martha Vernon Washington retired for the evening – her Granny nightgown had one button unbuttoned!

And, that is how Mount Vernon got its name!

There’s a joke in there somewhere!

Give me a break – I’ve never been to Electoral College!

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Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands

Marilyn Sands is a former 80's Stand-Up Comic & Comic Booker starting out in hometown D.C. then San Francisco competing at the famed "Punch Line" Comedy Club. Sold Jokes to Joan Rivers & lesser lights. A Contributor to "Humor Times Magazine" while pitching her 2 Madcap Screenplays & a Stage Play about the 1st Off-Line Dating Site, 'Eden' where Adam & Eve get busy! Proud to announce her new book is now published in Paperback & ebook: "CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS" On-Line Dating Straight Lines & can be purchased on Amazon.com. This book isn't for just 'The Walking Wounded' but for anyone who's ever been Single!
Marilyn Sands

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