[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

News of the Future: Trump’s Second Impeachment

After he shot a man in cold blood on 5th Avenue in New York last week, a second impeachment of Donald Trump has commenced.

For the second time in the long tenure of his so-called Presidency, President Trump has been called into question via an impeachment process. The difference this time, however, is that this second impeachment has been put into play by a force outside the legislative branch of the U.S. government. The until-recently-unknown group “Americans for a More Decent America” have twisted the arm of legislators in the U.S. to bring the oft-errant President to heel.

second impeachmentThe new impeachment is centered around the fact that President Trump shot a man in cold blood on 5th Avenue in New York last week.

Police were prohibited from arresting the President because Trump cited his “right” by Article II that he can shoot anyone he wants, and also by having “won the first impeachment,” he can now do anything he wants.

Or, as stated by one of hi ardent legions of followers — “He kan do anythin’ becuze he is the Prasident, DUH!!!”

Disillusioned Democrats are now turning the wheels on a new impeachment process but are not happy to be involved in it. “The last one scalded our butts bad and we ended up inadvertently giving ‘The Teflon Don’ even more power than he had before. He and his fan base now think he is God, and this proves it.”

The shooting victim (we are not allowed by the Trump Media Act of 2020 to use the word ‘assassinated’ because ‘The Don’ says it shows a liberal prejudice against him) has not been identified because the body was immediately hauled away by Secret Service men who are not allowing the police to examine the body.

The press was told that it is now “Presidential property.” Many believe the body was disposed of by Saudi nationals who are expert in “evidence elimination” and who have suddenly been allowed to work in the U.S., having joined the ranks of the Secret Service after Trump’s re-election win in 2020. The Don had this to say about the newly immigrated and integrated Saudis: “These boys really know how to get a job done. They have considerable experience under their belts. I think we will work great together, even though they are Arabs.”

Already Trump’s Dream Team of lawyers, who saved his hide during the first impeachment trial, have been sounding off their rationale for not allowing the second impeachment trial to begin with. “It would be a waste of taxpayer money.” “The President is protected by the Second amendment — he can shoot anyone he wants.” “The man was probably a terrorist to begin with.” “The liberals are just trying to undermine his Presidency.” “It is nobodies business what actions He takes, He is the head of our nation.” “It is doubted that the man was an American to begin with.” “The Democrats are just getting uppity again.” Etcetera, etcetara, etcetera…

Having already drawn up the Articles of Impeachment much quicker that they did the first time, the House went through the formal process of delivering them to the Senate. However, during the official and historic walk over to the Senate, a band of masked and black suited individuals in an unidentified van managed strangely to break through security and beat the deliverers senseless and bloody with batons and clubs before they were even halfway there. The attackers then grabbed the documents and drove off, again strangely without security or the Secret Service stopping them.

The Teflon Don has begun boasting about how he is going to beat the rap again. “I have made the House so impotent that they couldn’t procreate a cold if they had to.”

Roger Freed