Two brilliant yesteryear Comics parody Donald Trump’s 2nd Impeachment Trial Defense Attorneys, jibber jabber who come up with *Bupkis!
*Bupkis: Democrats chances of winning this impeachment trial… but have to go thru the motions.
I just happened to find this Trump Impeachment Transcript on ebay with the unlikely pairing of iconic Comic, Professor Irwin Corey & sensible-straight man, Comic Bud Abbott as Trump’s two Defense Attorneys.
Don’t laugh – it was free shipping!
PROFESSOR IRWIN COREY
The preponderance of libertine per carpe diem on rye eradicate the Neanderthals in lieu of brisket in every pot…I got nothin’!
BUD ABBOTT
Please excuse my colleague here – we got this assignment separately thru ‘Temps For Trump‘ & he spent all morning stuffing envelopes.
Speak English, Professor – I’ll try to interpret!
PROFESSOR COREY
You don’t have to defend me, Bud – the facts of this case are under audit & will come out in 2030!
ABBOTT
He means we’ll get back to you, don’t you?
PROFESSOR COREY
No, I never want to see these people again – they’re looking at me!
I want to plea bargain!
ABBOTT
You should have gone before you got out here!
PROFESSOR COREY
I didn’t have to go then.
ABBOTT
You better sit down – I’ll take it from here.
PROFESSOR COREY
I object!
ABBOTT
We’re not in a Court – we’re in the Capitol.
PROFESSOR COREY
Why are they staring?
ABBOTT
We’re here to get Trump off.
PROFESSOR COREY
And, he picked me?
ABBOTT
I think he pulled your name out of a hat.
PROFESSOR COREY
That’s insulting – let’s sue!
ABBOTT
Sue? We’re lucky if we get paid for this Gig!
PROFESSOR COREY
You mean we’re doing this Cher-Bono?
ABBOTT
Where did you get your education or just watched the movie, “My Cousin Vinny”?
PROFESSOR COREY
Youse don’t learn anything from watching that.
ABBOTT
Yes you do – you learn about skid marks & that people don’t see as much as they think they see!
PROFESSOR COREY
That’s profound.
ABBOTT
Where did you pick up that fancy word?
PROFESSOR COREY
Oh, my wife said that during sex.
ABBOTT
Well, at least that’s positive!
Oh, whatever you do – don’t say ‘Trump learned his lesson’.
PROFESSOR COREY
Why?
ABBOTT
Have you seen Susan Collins lately?
PROFESSOR COREY
No.
ABBOTT
Case closed.
PROFESSOR COREY
I want to see a Hung Jury!
ABBOTT
Don’t mind him folks – he was at a Club last night & got in a Nude Conga Line by mistake!
PROFESSOR COREY
It wasn’t a mistake – I went home with two of them!
ABBOTT
I thought you were married.
PROFESSOR COREY
She said they were profound too!
Bud, just wondering – why didn’t Trump pick your pal Lou Costello to do my part?
ABBOTT
Lou said, ‘You’re on 1st’!
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