[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trumpless White House Causes Downfall of Major News Outlets

With the White House now Trumpless, times are hard for purveyors of news, as their gravy train chugs into the distance.

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
Trumpless White House
“Miss me yet?” White House now Trumpless. Photo: Gage Skidmore, Wikimedia Commons.

According to SNN Washington Crappe reporter Ghitchee Ghoomee, when Donald Trump was in the White House, major news outlets — both print and television — worked 24/7 covering Trump’s every word and thought. Now, with the news largely Trumpless, most of the major news vendors have fallen on hard times.

Basically, no Trump means no ad revenue. Many are laying off reporters and front office staff and are groping for ways to stay in business.

SNN poverty correspondent Stanckebytche Yohmhama stated that the following changes have been made at major news outlets:

CBS News has been sold to the Disney Corporation and will air Mickey Mouse News daily

NBC News will air reruns of Huntley and Brinkley

Fox News will only have a five minute news segment on Friday Night Smackdown

Fox News has been purchased by Donald Trump and renamed Trump News.

USA Today will become USA Yesterday and re-run stories from the 1980’s

MSNBC has been bought by the SNHHA (The Slobovian Horse Hockey Association) and will air live Horse Hockey 24 hours a day

The new “New York Times Post and Daily News” will combine into one publication and only cover murders in The Bronx and Newark N.J.

Thanks to Covid stimulus checks, SNN is financially stable.

Ted Holland