When he slapped Chris Rock, it was the slap heard ’round the world, giving Will Smith first dibs as the new James Bond!
Or ‘The Thrilla from Manila’ slaps his way out of Hollywood!
Satirically, here’s Academy Award winning Actor Will Smith’s Top 10 other things he slapped Chris Rock for!
10. USING MY NAME TO REGISTER AT ‘The Hollywould’nt Motel’ IN FRESNO!
9. STOLE MY G.I. JOE DOLL & FONDLED HIS RUCKSACK!
8. WORE THE SAME COLOGNE AS ME AT THE AWARDS SHOW CALLED – ‘SLAPITON’!
7. TOLD ME I DIDN’T HAVE THE BALLS TO PLAY ‘A TENNIS DAD’!
6. SPIT SHINED MY OSCAR FOR ‘BEST ACTOR’ WITH…well, SPIT!
5. HE’S JEALOUS – I’M REHEARSING MY NEXT MOVIE: ‘SPARTA-CUSS’!
4. FOR NOT GIVING TO MY CHARITY: ‘BALD-HEADED WOMEN REALLY SCARE ME’!
3. TRIPPED ME AT THE PRE-AWARDS FASHION WALK & BLAMED IT ON HIS DATE’S LONG HAIR!
2. HE WATCHED ME PEE AT THE OSCAR’S URINAL & SAID, ‘YOU KNOW, IT’S GOOD JUST TO BE NOMINATED’!
And the #1 Reason I slapped Chris Rock for…
MAKING THEM SCHEDULE NEXT YEAR’S OSCARS AT ‘MADISON SQUARE GARDEN’!
**Yes, I’m sure there’ll be a change in venue with new rules, Security & proximity to the stage order #1. But most of all, jokes about a Nominee’s Plus 1 off-limits – or wait until they go to the John. haha
Two great actors, yes. But only the Host/Presenter has the floor – not on it!
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