[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Plot to Bilk Biden Administration Out of 342 Billion in Military Aid Uncovered

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

The Slobovian Secret Service has uncovered a plot to illegally obtain $342 Billion in military aid from the U.S.

Famed Slobovian Secret Service operative Redd Hotte, working in the Ukrainian war zone, has uncovered a plot to bilk the Biden administration out of 342 million dollars in military aid.

military aidMiss Hotte had entered the war zone disguised as Nancy Pelosi to look into reports that Russian troops were attempting to kill Ukrainian pets with poison borscht, and got the details from a Russian General that she had seduced.

According to the details of the plot, the corrupt governments of the Republic of Rhubhadub and Schnotzelvakia would create a fake war.

Rhubhadubian troops would invade Schnotzelvakia, and then the Schnotzelvacs would ask President Biden for 342 million in military weapons and aid. When the weapons arrived, they would be sold to the Russians, and the cash would then be split between the two countries.

The plot was allegedly hatched by the new Capo de Capo of the Zardocian Mafia, known as Cleek, who was set to receive 20 percent of the loot and relocate to the island of Singapore.

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Ted Holland