[Disclaimer: This article is satire, or what we used to call "fake news" before actual fake news started poisoning the political discourse!]
The wall President Trump built on the Mexican border is now the second man-made object visible from outer space.
Dateline: May 23, 2019
The orbiting space station has confirmed that President Trump’s “Wall to Save America,” which was finished just last week, joins the Great Wall of China as being the only two man-made structures that can be seen from outer space.
In a taped conversation from the “Trump Voyager Space Complex and Casino for the 1%,” which was launched just months after his inauguration, Astronaut Ray Ranger offered this statement when he first was able to spy it out of an earth-facing portal: “Yep, there it is! I can see it as Texas whirls in out of the shadow of night.”
“It’s the fence that is keeping America free! What a beautiful sight it is indeed!” he said. “That is the monolith that is successfully keeping the hordes of South Americans out of our wonderful country and into theirs where they can do drugs and make babies and drink tequila to their hearts content.”
Fellow astronaut and eighth generation Latino Juan Hernandez was silent at this, but regarded him with an evil eye and his arms folded.
The wall fulfilled “The Donald’s” promise to his voters to keep illegal foreigners out of America, unless, of course, they have lots of money or are Russian friends of Vladimir Putin.
Because of Mexico’s refusal to pay for it, the U.S. is facing a great financial crisis. All of the country’s intelligentsia has sought asylum in Canada, Costa Rica and the Czech Republic after Trump’s election, thus draining a lot of the brain power and money power needed to complete the barrier.
The wall was instead built hurriedly by cronies of Trump that he specially selected. To save money that could instead be used to line pockets of his rich friends, it was built out of the waste from abandoned homes across America and from crushed repossessed autos that had accumulated in all the major cities since he gained office.
Also, due to a shortage of illegal immigrants to do the dirty work Americans won’t touch, the mega corporations that Trump hired to do the job have had to rely on prison labor, which Texas has plenty of. People complaining that the inmates were being used as slave labor were themselves arrested — under Trump’s new law that does not allow criticism of the president — and were made join the work force themselves.
Viewers on the space shuttle, including 125 people from the upper 1% of earth social elite who paid four million dollars apiece to visit the space/casino station, watched the wall for 2 minutes before getting bored and returned to their gaming tables. They didn’t look out the portal again the rest of the day, so intent were they on their cards and dice.
Unfortunately, due to the wall’s quick and shoddy construction, the Mexican cartels have already penetrated under it with numerous tunnels, including several four-lane highways, leading to all the major American border towns.
It has been discovered that astronaut Hernandez was secretly an illegal immigrant, but they never caught on to him.
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