House Minority Leader accuses bear band supergroup “The Country Bears” of inciting the January 6th insurrection.
House Minority leader Kevin McCarthy today revealed that a Republican-led investigation into January 6th has uncovered startling new evidence implicating popular bear band “The Country Bears” as the real culprits behind the 2021 insurrection.
![Country Bears](https://www.humortimes.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/4041962155_649ed3bc9b_c-400x299.jpg)
“These so-called ‘country’ bears have no love for their country whatsoever!” he explained. “They’re nothing more than a bunch of liberal elitist hacks trying to make Donald Trump look bad.
“We’ve linked them to all kinds of un-American organizations such as Disney, the ACLU and Bear Lives Matter. We’ve established ties between them and left-wing radicals Queen Latifah, Elton John and the Care Bears. And who else would have the infrastructure and resources to pull off such a massive conspiracy? It all makes perfect sense!”
Republicans claim eye witness testimony from numerous sources will prove their case. This includes well-known banker Reid Thimple, innocent bystander Benny Bogswaggle, police officers Cheets and Hamm, as well as their “star” witness, Florida Governor Rick Desantis. A subpoena has also been issued for Mickey Mouse.
“We’ll get to the truth if it kills us!” McCarthy pledged.
- This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: ‘Heil Be Seeing You!’ - June 30, 2024
- This is Your Brain on Aphorisms: Knucklehead-Ache - June 13, 2024
- Taiwan and China Match Wits in Vegetable-Eating Contest - June 12, 2024