Trump gets a fitting landmark, another bowl in a rehabbed former Queens police station near a red-lined apartment complex.
Now that the Department of the Interior has designated a site for a Trump Landmark, I, as Chair of the Design Committee, can instruct my team to begin thinking about a list of potential speakers and possible points of emphasis for its red-tape opening.
The site — a rehabbed former Queens police station next to a previously red-lined apartment complex — will serve as a reminder of the 45th’s youth and development.
Its main feature will be an outsize fake Gold Toilet Bowl in the center of a small rotunda. This Marcel Duchamp-like sculpture will serve as a replica of his Oval Office, the former occupant’s monarchial ambitions, and his attempts to flush The Constitution.
A nearby subway station will make it easy for bankrupt family members and his former entourage to visit at a reasonable cost. The sub-way itself will serve as a symbol of the former president’s effort to organize an underground movement to subvert American democracy.
We want speakers at the launch of the Trump Landmark to represent as many attributes and accomplishment of the twice-loser of the popular vote, so we have composed a provisional and tentative list of eloquent keynoters:
Stormy Daniels: “You’re wrong, he does take off his socks.”
Putin: “Real double agent material, I tried.”
Ivanka: “No, he hasn’t agreed to circumcision, but he’s willing to consider it for me.”
Dershowwitz: “You’re fuckin’ right, vulgarity is guaranteed by the First Amendment.”
Hannity: “He said everything I told him to say, a great student.”
In the spirit of transparency and fairness, I have to say on behalf of the committee that we recognize our ambivalent attitude towards Mr. Trump, but we believe his Landmark will be an accurate and factual representation of the overseer’s time in office.
Howard R. Wolf, Ph.D. (for the Design Committee)
P.S. The committee welcomes suggestions.