[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Tucker Carlson Exposes More Media Lies

Other things besides the Josh Hawley January 6th tape that Tucker Carlson thinks are media lies.

Tucker Carlson recently aired U.S. Capitol security footage from the Jan. 6 insurrection that House Speaker Kevin McCarthy gave to him last month, at one point showing tape of Sen. Josh Hawley (R-MO) fleeing from rioters. Yet the clip, which the House Jan. 6 Committee first revealed to the public last July, is one of many “media lies,” according to the Fox News host, because Hawley wasn’t the only member of Congress seen running toward a safe location.

The Daily Beast, 3/6/23

More important exposés planned by Tucker Carlson for his show:

media lies
Gage Skidmore/Flickr

Banana bread that contains ingredients besides bananas

Four-wheel-drive automobiles that go in reverse

Books with page numbers that don’t take into account Roman numerals in the beginning

The moon, whenever it’s not full

A child’s sandcastle that has a bit of seaweed in it

Apartments and condominiums named “Mountainview” from which one can see some combination of field, forest, river, and more than one mountain

Guitarists who use their thumb while playing fingerstyle

Ski resorts that welcome snowboarders, tubers, and anyone who just wants to hang out by the lodge with a hot chocolate

About Schmidt when we learn about characters not named Schmidt

Google Maps street view when used on roads, avenues, boulevards, lanes, and highways

Southwest Airlines flights from Chicago to Albany

Dinner parties where hors d’oeuvres are offered before dinner

The number Pi when written as 3.14 rather than to its 100th decimal

Gas stations that sell a variety of food and drink

Boston University buildings with addresses in Brookline

Haunted house walks that include barns

Big cat sanctuaries with cubs

Tucker Carlson Tonight episodes when aired in time zones where it’s the afternoon

William Vaillancourt