Top Banana: Monkeys Appeal to Family for Love & Laughs

monkeys riding dogs

The Pet Monkey Channel features videos with monkeys that vie with Congressmen throwing Feces at the American Public!


Okay, so far I haven’t seen any Monkeys throw anything at my computer screen – but I can’t say the same for Matt Gaetz!

But folks – I don’t have a life! 

Something’s terribly wrong that I can’t stop watching monkeys as family members on Facebook & YouTube from far-off Bakersfield – I mean Cambodia, Thailand & the like!

What is the fascination?  Are they more like us, or are we more like them?

I only have one complaint about the videos though.  I’ve only seen one act of masturbation & clearly this young male was a novice!  Give him time, I say.

But, they’re more than Pets – the owners are raising their children to be brothers & sisters with this zero-attention-span climbing primate – like a squirrel on Speed!

They doll them up in dresses, put Pampers on them & cut a hole for their tail! 

Who hasn’t done that?  haha

But, if you watch often enough – you’ll see that dressing them actually makes us believe they are just like the little buggers we brought up!

The child & monkey eat together, sleep together, play together, partner-in-crime together & are disciplined together. 

But, only one of them will ever get Potty Trained!  haha

I recommend watching, as you’d immediately see they’re intelligent, entertaining, empathetic & quite helpful.  Dogs fetch your Pipe & Slippers – these obedient monkeys can drive you there to buy them!

Yet, there’s lots of curious ‘scratch your head’ moments like: ‘Who snatches food off someone else’ plate when they already have the same food on their plate’?

And, I mean you – Aunt Martha!

To be clear, these videos only use the ‘Capuchin’ breed as the other breeds are either too dangerous, have a prior engagement or lazy as hell!

monkeys with mirrors

I also read that the Chimp or ‘Chimpanzee’ is not a Monkey but a ‘Great Ape’ & known to be the most dangerous.

Damn – that was Tarzan’s friend, Cheetah!  Who knew? 

I thought it was all swinging vines, loose loin cloths & Bananas!

Tarzan family

Why don’t we see more monkeys walking their owners in the U.S.?  Thanks for asking! 

Due to ‘Exotic Pet Laws’ only 25 states allow ownership & 25 states that don’t.  And, I have that list & keep it close – because I’m ready to move out of state at a moment’s notice!

Of course, if there’s 2 monkeys in a household – well, that’s another animal!  If I want to see hair pulling, eye poking & teeth spiting – I could watch my own kids in our old 8mm Home Movies!  haha

Luckily, my Home Movies had no sound.  And, it’s not because I muzzled them!  But the Case is closed – so pretend you never read that, okay?

Anyway, I’m used to the sound off & it’s a challenge when I listen to this Mother reprimanding her monkey in a different language!

No biggie – I just figure out the translation for myself:

‘Get down from the frigin’ Chandelier & stop playin’ with that thing’!


Oh, I almost forgot – that’s the last time I check out my lineage on, “Finding Your Roots”!

monkey face

Marilyn Sands