[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump Rips into Judge Following Gag Order

Ex-prez cries foul (yet again) after a gag order against him is expanded in the New York hush money trial.

Disgraced and many-times indicated former-President Donald J. Trump cried foul on Saturday after New York Supreme Court Justice Juan Merchan, in charge of the hush money case involving Trump and porn siren Stormy Daniels, expanded a gag order. The new order forestalls Trump from publicly disparaging Merchan, his family, and other court officials and their families.

gag order
Protestors outside the courthouse on April 4, the day of Trump’s arraignment. Photo: SWinxy, CC BY-SA 4.0.

This action followed Trump’s calling Merchan’s daughter a “rabid Trump-hater” and a “lesbo” and saying “he’d like to ball her.” “It would serve her right,” he raged, again noting the size of his hands. Trump also criticized her for working for a Democratically aligned digital marketing company. “Why isn’t she home having babies and doing without health care, like she’s supposed to do?” demanded Trump.

Trump went on to dare Merchan to “toss me in the clink,” asserting that he would be “honored” to emulate revered Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Nelson Mandela, the first Black President of South Africa following the end of apartheid. Trump reminded viewers that “Nigras really like me; they see the similarity.”

Trump cautioned American patriots that “we have to save our country from political operatives masquerading as prosecutors and judges,” posting in all capital letters on his Truth Social media platform. The reference was to Merchan and prosecutor Alvin Braggs, who have both received multiple death threats. “And I am willing to sacrifice my freedom for that worthy cause.”

“There has never been a more conflicted judge,” wrote Trump, again in all capitals. “Take his name — Juan — obviously a fugitive from a shithole country. Probably snuck over the border in a caravan!” Prosecutor Alvin Bragg, asked for a comment, agreed that the ex-president should emulate Mandela, “by serving several decades in prison.”

Bill Tope