[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Donald Trump Furious Over Force Feeding Him Country Music at Rallies

Trump lost the endorsement of the Country Music Association and doesn’t want to hear that crap anymore.

Redder, GA – We begin by reporting that Donald Trump has lost the endorsement of the Country Music Association after the following news aired a segment of a secretly taped conversation between Trump and an undisclosed, but verifiable source.

Country Music
Trump objects to country music.

‘Still’ Redder, GA – Sources close to the guy say that he has had enough of the “whiney, crybaby, alcoholic (which, by the way, I am not an alcoholic), dog-run-over-by-a-truck, and wife cheated on you, left you, your cheatin’ heart, and all that mundane southern white life crap, and don’t get me started on Lee Greenwood. From the time I leave a campaign rally to the time I finally go to bed, that damn song, ‘Proud America something’ keeps playing in my head. I call it the southern ear worm.”

To which the source thanked him, wrapped up the interview, and ran like hell outa there.

In a related story, Lara Trump, head of the RNC (well she may as well be), is said to be scrambling to find alternative music for the rallies that will please both the attendees and her father-in-law. She recalled at one rally, she witnessed him holding his fingers in his ears and screaming ‘La la la, La la la, I’m not listening.’

“It is driving all us Trumps quite literally insane,” she said. With regard to the task at hand, she complains that the Democrats get all the good music acts because they are so inclusive. “Well, I’d rather put up with dad’s whining than try and convince a Liberal I like them by requesting to use their music”

Rumor has it, the Trump campaign may just hire karaoke acts for each event as that would eliminate the need to pay royalties on songs they sing along to, as well as allowing them to play songs by artists who, in the past, have sent ‘cease and desist’ letters to the rally organizers.

As they say in the music business, “stay tuned…”

P. Beckert