Official Letter from the Norwegian Nobel Committee very officially written to ‘President’ Donald Trump.
Dear President Trump,
It is my unfortunate duty, as spokesman for the Norwegian Nobel Committee, to inform you that you are horrendously inadequate to even vaguely receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.
The Nobel Peace Prize is officially given out to people who actually have a NOBLE character (please forgive our small, somewhat humorous play on English wording), but true none the less. Your character has, in truth, often made us wonder if you have any spark of true decency at all.
We keep hoping to see some degree of that in you, but the vigilance required for it has become exceedingly tiring of late. When you state to Netanyahu and the world that you would agree to oust the Palestinians out of their homeland and build Trump hotels and golf courses there it does make one wonder if you have even the slightest shining of human understanding and kindness in that genius you claim to have.
The qualifications one would need to have would be ethical, straightforward, honest, unbiased, friendly and charitable. You do well on the straightforward part, Mr. Trump, the rest you would have to really severely do some work on. You could add ‘commanding’ to those attributes, but we know you would use the wrong meaning of it.
Since we know that you would argue ruthlessly against this decision of ours, Mr. Trump, we have made a list of the actions and speeches you have made that totaled together has given us the basis for our rejection of your eligibility for a Nobel Peace Prize.
They are as follows:
Stating how you hate all Democrats. ‘Hating’ any group of people would be a definite black mark on your character.
Calling Senator McCain a ‘loser’ for getting captured in the Vietnam war. He did not do this willingly, Mr. Trump! I am pretty sure he was not happy himself by getting captured.
Endlessly insulting, undermining and attacking President Biden. Add to that insulting, undermining and attacking President Obama, Candidate Harris, Governor Newsome, Nancy Pelosi, Omarosa, both of the Clinton’s, Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham, Elizabeth Warren, President Zelenskyy… oh, to hell with it- you have insulted half the people in the world!
Taken over the police forces in LA and Washington D.C. despite abundant evidence that there was no need for it. You apparently now think that you are Matt Dillon in the old American Gunsmoke TV show.
Sent in a foreigner and a bunch of immature, inexperienced geeks to comb Federal agencies for overspending and thereby exposing people’s private information to misuse and stealth. That was not very caring about your average citizen, Mr. Trump! It caused a great deal of UNPEACEFULNESS — the opposite of what you should wish for in receiving a Peace Prize.
Canceled and retracted President Obama’s attempts to reconcile differences with Iran and Cuba which was making progressive peace incentives with them by negating his actions and going back to 1960’s diplomacy with these countries. That turned them back to being enemies after positive reactions had resulted from his actions. Is that ‘peaceful’ to you, Mr. Trump??
Kicking the homeless out of D.C. and not giving them any place at all to stay made their already hellish lives even worse and was very unkind. Also throwing away what little material things they had in life (tents, sleeping bags, clothes, etc.) made them even poorer than they were to begin with. What if someone ransacked Mar-a-Lago much the way your people ransacked on January 6th? Speaking of which, that was a VERY unkind action!
There are numerous other examples, Mr. Trump, but too many to list here.
So, you see Mr. Trump, the evidence that you see listed here works heavily against your receiving the Nobel Prize For Peace. If there were a Nobel Prize for Divisiveness or Insults you would probably be a major contender, but, unfortunately for you no one has come up with those categories yet.
Might we at the Noble Prize consultum would like to suggest other ‘Prizes’ you could put your sights on acquiring. For instance there is the Razzies Award given to certain movies that catch their eye. You could put in a recommendation for your guest appearance in that Home Alone Sequel. You could do the same with your The Apprentice series for a belated Emmy — Best Manipulative Editing might be a good category.
The Australians also have the ‘Ernie Awards’ which celebrate badly sexist comments made by public figures. You would be a natural for that one, Mr. Trump!
The Ignoble Prize (NOT affiliated with us by any means!) could interest you for your incredibly shallow research into all things scientific, political and financial. It is usually given to scientists who come up with questionable ‘advances’ for mankind, but since you consider yourself to be a ‘stable genius’, they just might make room for you as well!
Then, best of all, there are the Darwin Awards which might be ‘right up your alley!’ (as you Americans like to say!), which celebrates those who through mistakes and blunders have hindered man’s evolution into a greater Beingness. You could have Eric and Donald Junior help you with that one! It would be a possibly peaceful way of bonding with your siblings. Hopefully peaceful anyways…
Yours Truly and Peacefully,
The Norwegian Nobel Committee
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