[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Concerned Fox News Hosts Unsure if Shows Qualify as Satire

Bill O’Reilly: “If what we do is satire, you can bet we do it better than anyone else.”

NEW YORK CITY – Alarmed Fox News hosts recently engaged in a heated discussion over whether the content the network produces might qualify as satire, and therefore open Fox News employees up to attacks by anti-free speech groups, such the radical Islamic group responsible for the recent Charlie Hebdo massacre.

Fox news satire“The definition of satire is very concrete,” said Bill O’Reilly, host of The O’Reilly Factor, “In that it is nearly undefinable. But if what we do at Fox News is satire, you can bet we do it better than anyone else.”

Sean Hannity, host of The Hannity Factor, first raised the question of whether or not the network was engaging in satire soon after learning of the Charlie Hebdo attacks.  Charlie Hebdo, a satirical French magazine that has published several pictures of the prophet Muhammad, recently had twelve employees murdered by Muslim extremists.

“Whether or not what we do here qualifies as satire, it’s definitely ‘bring your gun to work week’ at Fox News,” proclaimed Hannity. “If you walk into my studio with a turban, you may want to keep your hands where I can see them.”

Former host of The Beck Factor, Glenn Beck, appeared on The Van Sustern Factor with host Greta Van Sustern to voice his concerns that satire is simply too difficult for the average person to identify.

“I think we should definitely ask ourselves if satire should even be legal to make,” Beck argued. “Did you know that satire is actually banned in 32 countries?  So tell me this – if satire is too dangerous for more than two-thirds of the world’s nations, then why are we allowing it here? Your move, Obama.”

Sal Kingfisher