[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump Border Wall Plans Bring Surprise Economic Boom

Big changes in smuggling are predicted with the coming border wall

Trump’s promise of building a border wall along the U.S.-Mexico border has been a boon to some U.S. industries. Huge orders have been pouring in for steel rails and the once nearly defunct rail car industry is now booming with increasing orders for a compact version of their passenger and cargo cars. Special orders have come in for powerful smaller, quieter train engines.

Border wallDrill machine companies that once depended on the waning coal industry have now been rejuvenated, and they are having a hard time keeping up with the demand for machines both large and small.

Every industry involved in excavation has seen growth since Trump started talking about the wall, even down to those who manufacture and sell shovels and picks.

It had been assumed that companies were stocking up in preparation for bids on building parts of the American “Great Wall.” However, a whistleblower has revealed that the American companies purchasing the equipment are also making huge profits selling the equipment to the drug cartels across the border, who are drilling so many elaborate tunnels under the proposed sites of the Wall that it looks like a prairie dog town.

This reporter also has discovered that there are ongoing negotiations with the money-strapped Amtrak to provide the underground rail service.

The only ones the Trump Wall appears to be putting out of work are the ruthless coyotes who charge huge fees to smuggle people by land across the border. Instead of suffering abuse and extortion from the coyotes, soon anyone wishing to enter the U.S. can just buy a ticket for a clean, safe, air conditioned ride. For a small additional fee, the passengers can purchase seats in the virtual reality cars for a ride worthy of Disneyland.

Diane de Anda