[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Football Rivalry Heats Up After Accidental Air Strike Called In

Secretary of Navy’s angrily-thrown remote hits big red button, making for historic Army-Navy game in football rivalry.

PHILADELPHIA — The scene was shock and awe at this year’s Army-Navy football rivalry game at Lincoln Financial Field. The Secretary of the Navy, who apparently wasn’t happy with Navy’s slow start, mistakenly called in an airstrike on Army when he chucked his remote control at the T.V. and inadvertently hit the big red button. Luckily there were only minor injuries reported, most of those on Army’s offense.

football rivalryThe strike seemed to work as Navy sailed to an easy victory over Army. “It was an all-out aerial assault,” said Melissa Jenkins, a Navy lieutenant who happened to be watching in the stands at Lincoln Financial Field. “It’s good to remind those desert dwellers who’s boss,” Jenkins added.

Army fans are demanding answers and want to know how this could happen.

Patrick Butterfield, an expert in military strategy, explained to anchors on Fox News what might have happened. “The secretary may have exceeded his two drink limit. Or he simply lost his temper. We’ve all been there. I’m a Chicago Bears fan so I truly understand his actions. If I was SECNAV I think my nickname would be scorched earth with as many remotes as I’ve went through. What is a Bears fan to do but throw things and get drunk. Heck, I’m drunk right now,” Butterfield stated.

Dave Richards