A Christmas letter to America, from the First Lady.
Merry Christmas from our family to yours. Once again, we had a wonderful year filled with love, joy and all manner of personal accomplishments.
Donald says that, just like four years ago, he won the presidency in a landslide. He is so very thankful to all of his supporters, especially those whose votes didn’t get counted by the thieving Democrats.
Donald says we will prevail and that the Dems won’t get away with this horrible fraud. But, in the meantime, it looks like we’ll have to move out of the White House, at least temporarily.
Frankly, I don’t really mind that much that we have to leave. I’m so fucking tired of this annual White House Christmas decoration shit and will be more than happy to say goodbye to all those lights and trees, especially those goddamn red ones from two years ago.
I know that all our friends appreciate my efforts every Christmas but those horrible socialists are so mean about my decorating efforts. Well, they won’t have Melania Trump to kick around anymore.
It’s been a great year for the Trumps. Donald solidified his reputation as the greatest president of all time. He defeated the deep state, fought back the phony impeachment charges and conquered COVID-19.
I am so proud of him and I know you are, too. Please help in whatever way you can to support our efforts to overturn the false election results. I’ve included a postage-paid envelope for you to send us a check to fight the fraudsters.
I am so very proud of that record. As I always say, we must all hang together or we will surely hang separately and the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.
The rest of the family has also had a great year. Don, Jr. campaigned 24/7 for his father and increased his own chances of running for elected office especially since he now seems to have kicked his powder addiction (and I’m not referring to his downhill skiing LOL).
Eric tells me that he did great things in 2020, too, and is simply too modest to let me list them in our Christmas newsletter. As for Ivanka, I’m sure she’ll be sending out her own card and you can judge for yourself regarding her accomplishments. On the other hand, she may not have time for that since she will likely be very busy in 2021defending various lawsuits and helping her husband Jared avoid bankruptcy.
I tried contacting Tiffany to see how she’s doing but had no luck. Her voicemail message simply says that she has changed her last name to Maples and no longer wants to be associated with the Trump family.
We, of course, will not comment on my son Barron since he is still a minor and is in no way involved with the specious legal claims launched against Donald and others. I will say, however, that Donald is considering officially removing one of the Rs from Barron’s name to put him on an equal royal footing with Princess Ivanka.
We hope you will have a joyous, happy and profitable new year. Donald says that if there’s any doubt about that, make sure to include a check in the enclosed envelope and let him know if you need a pardon. Don’t forget to mail your request in before the January 20th deadline to ensure prompt action.