[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

FBI: Marjorie Taylor Greene a Russian Agent

QAnon-Russian Connection: Was Marjorie Taylor Greene replaced by a Russian agent?

An anonymous source within the FBI has provided some astounding news regarding both QAnon and Marjorie Taylor Greene. Many had suspected that QAnon was a creation of some independent Russian trolls. However, there is now clear evidence that QAnon is run by the Russian government’s GRU, an infamous version of the U.S. CIA.

Russian agent, QAnon by Anthony Crider
QAnon march. Photo by Anthony Crider, flickr.com.

Although noted for its more brutal tactics, it specializes in subversion, so it was natural for them to develop a vehicle that would spew absurd, but provocative false conspiracy theories to create great divides in the country and the government to weaken and ultimately paralyze the U.S.

The FBI has also uncovered why the conspiracy theories are so absurd. They are all dreamed up by the agents in the midst of week-long benders of the finest Russian vodka, followed by Samuel Adams beer chasers. The Russians selected this brand of beer, because it is the name of one of the U.S. Founding Fathers, and they are fond of irony.

Although they made headway with their operatives in Fox News and the Trump organization, they still needed a vocal proponent in the Congress. That’s when the plot thickened with Marjorie Taylor Greene. When they first noticed her, she was just a local looney, parroting the craziest of their conspiracy theories. First they supported her campaign with huge amounts of dark money. Noting her masculine facial features and her build resulting from her weight lifting, they were able to replace her with a Russian agent once she won her seat in Congress.

The FBI has not been able to discover what happened to the real Marjorie Taylor Greene, but the person posing as her who is the hate-spewing, QAnon spokesperson in the Congress is really Igor Malenkovich, a transvestite Russian operative. To alienate her husband so he would not suspect the switch, the QAnon forces started the rumor of a clandestine affair and sent photoshopped photos to him. The meetings were actually between Igor and another Russian operative where Igor provided information he was able to glean from supportive GOP colleagues in the Congress.

While Igor has been doing his best to stir up animosity and divisiveness in the Congress, especially among the GOP, the GRU has indicated dissatisfaction. The FBI intercepted a communication between a top GNU official and the head of the QAnon forces. Here is the translation:

“We should have just kept the real Marjorie Taylor Greene; she would have been much more successful in destroying democracy.”

Diane de Anda