Joe Biden & a Plus One: Jiminy Cicadas First Overseas Trip: Part 3 Finale

Jiminy Cicadas

Vladimir Putin reveals his fetishes as Jiminy Cicadas listens-in & reports back to Joe Biden!

Jiminy Cicadas

Putin

PART 3: The Finale

Taking notes per President Biden’s orders, Jiminy Cicadas hides in President Putin’s pocket after the Geneva Summit & discovers how Vladimir really feels about his adversary.

Jiminy takes notes as Vladimir & his Comrade, Igor dish.

IGOR

Well Vlad, what do you think of him?

PUTIN (eyes roll around)

Hubba Hubba!

IGOR

What is that?

PUTIN

I heard it in a 1940’s B-Movie!  I take shirt off now!

IGOR

You have hot flash or Biden turns you on?

PUTIN (fanning himself)

He wants to see me in 3 to 6 months – I’m getting the vapors!

IGOR

No, he wants to see if you’ll comply with the Cyber attacks, Election meddling & poisoning people.

PUTIN LAUGHS MANICALLY.

PUTIN

No, he said – the proof is in the…we’re gonna have Pudding!

IGOR

You’re smitten!

PUTIN

He doesn’t miss a thing…my hair, my eyes – he says I have a killer smile!

IGOR

That is not a compliment, Sir.

PUTIN

I don’t care – Trump just went along!

IGOR

And, that’s bad?

PUTIN

Yes, in Helsinki I wanted him to turn me in!

IGOR

Yeah, it did look like he drank your bath water!

PUTIN (twirls)

But, Biden completes me!

IGOR

Snap out of it – you’re the leader of an unfree world!

IGOR

What about your soul, Sir?

PUTIN

You have one – we’ll share!  Ha ha

PUTIN

He makes me feel like being a better man & we have a Safe Word!

IGOR

Oh really – what is that word, Sir?

PUTIN

Psychopath or…Cutie Pie – I forget!

PUTIN

Doesn’t matter – he said he did what he came to do & that turns me on!  It’s ‘Tough Love’ – he stands up to me!

IGOR

You mean Flogging, Hair Pulling & Ticklers?

PUTIN

No, he wouldn’t give me a Tic Tac!

IGOR

No Hot Wax, Ice Cubes or Leather Straps?

PUTIN

No, he pulled my chair from under me!

IGOR

What about your Shoe Fetish?

PUTIN

He tied them!

IGOR

What about your ‘Whataboutism’ shtick?

PUTIN

Didn’t get to it – he hit me with one of his father’s old sayings & my eyes glazed over!

IGOR

How about the ‘Pee Pee Twins’, Easy & Peasy – were they available?

PUTIN

They were, but they didn’t have to go!

I’m sorry!

IGOR

Did you at least offer him Blinis, Babka or Borsht?

PUTIN

All I can say is – Biden’s kinkier than what Americans think…he puts Sour Cream on everything!

**P.S. Don’t worry folks, you can relax – I won’t be writing any more Cicada articles for 17 more years!

Well, not unless you really want to find out who Jiminy bonked on his 1st Mating Season!

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