Exclusive: New Girlfriend Slugs William Shatner and He Sees Stars!

William Shatner

After being the oldest person to fly into space and survive, actor William Shatner gets knocked out of bed!

The morning after William Shatner takes an amazing sub-orbital human space flight in Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin – things just fly by his head!

LUCY

WTF!  I’m jealous!  Just last week you told me ‘Makin’ it with me was like going where no man has gone before’!

WILLIAM SHATNER (panting)

“I hope I never recover from this.  I hope that I can maintain what I feel now – I don’t want to lose it”!

LUCY

Look down – you just did!

SHATNER

“I’m gonna cry”!

LUCY

That makes two of us!

SHATNER

“What you’ve given me is the most profound experience I could imagine”!

LUCY

It was 10 minutes!

SHATNER

“I’m so filled with emotion about what just happened – it’s extraordinary – it’s extraordinary”!

LUCY (patting his pillow)

It’s nothing – I just used a little fabric softener in the final rinse!

SHATNER

“I want to look at this orb & appreciate its beauty”!

LUCY

So look!  And that’s all – you know I’m tender this week!

SHATNER

“And, I come back overwhelmed by sadness & empathy for this beautiful thing we call earth”!

LUCY

You said that about my Meatloaf!

SHATNER

“It’s so much larger than me & life and it hasn’t got anything to do with the little green planet & the blue orb – it has to do with the enormity at the quickness & the suddenness of life & death & then – oh, my God”!

LUCY

Beam me up ‘HUMOR TIMES’!

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