‘Chris The Rock’ to Face ‘Will Smite-Thee Smith’ in Rematch!

rematch

In this corner, undisputed comic ‘Chris the Rock’ Faces ‘Battlin’ Will Smite-Thee Smith’ in a rematch with New Rules!

Rematch: Undisputed Comic Chris Rock & Academy Award Winning Role-Model/Actor Will Smith reads next year’s Oscar’s checklist, while trying to forget: The Way We Were!

2023 ACADEMY AWARDS SHOW PROTOCOL CHECKLIST

10. ALL BREASTS MUST BE AT LEAST 1/2 WAY IN – NO EXCEPTIONS!

rematch
Sorry, wrong Pic!

rematch dresses

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9.  Due to ‘Head-Swell Syndrome’, SECURITY GUARDS MUST CHECK ALL ENTRANCES FOR NOMINEES WHO JUST MADE A MOVIE WITH ‘KING’, ‘QUEEN’ OR ‘JESTER’ IN THE TITLE!

8.  PUNCH LINES THAT ARE STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ARE: G.I. JOE, JANE or JEW! 

BTW there wasn’t one for miles – but you laughed didn’t you!

7.  ALL JOKES MUST BE TESTED OUT BEFOREHAND ON DEATH ROW INMATES and/or ‘CHUCKLES’ THE CLOWN!

6.  BREATHALYZERS & CAVITY SEARCHES WILL BE ADMINISTERED BETWEEN COMMERCIAL BREAKS!

5.  ALL NOMINEES MUST CHECK THEIR OWN HYPERGLYCEMIA & EGO LEVELS & hey, why not – LACTOSE INTOLERANCE!

4.  ALL NOMINEES MUST BE PATTED DOWN & FRISKED BY TSA EMPLOYEES and/or MUGGERS IN CENTRAL PARK!

3.  ABSOLUTELY BANNED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE: LAME JOKES THAT HAVE THE WORDS – ‘BALDY’, ‘CUEBALL’ or ‘FOLICLY CHALLENGED’!

2.  BATHROOM BREAKS WILL BE A THING OF THE PAST! (Survey Says: Holding it in guarantees quicker TV Shows)

AND #1…  

IF WE LEARNED ANYTHING IN ACTING SCHOOL … for G-d’s sake – ‘IT’S THE SLAPPEE WHO CRIES’!

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