[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Future News: Independent Voters Flee to Canada

Independent voters who swept Republicans into power now see the chaos they’ve unleashed and are heading to Canada in droves.

Independent voters who swept Republicans into power nationally in November are moving to Canada.

independent voters flee to Canada, photo by judy_and_ed
Independent voters flee to Canada. Photo by judy_and_ed, flickr.com.

Not surprisingly, mainstream experts are shocked, insisting the highly coveted voters knew exactly what they were doing.

“They voted against inflation, Biden, and crime,” said one sage frequently quoted in the media.

But a disgruntled former GOP supporter explained why she took her family north of the border.

“Yeah, I voted red because I hate inflation,” the swing state voter said. “But even though inflation is high in Canada, at least the government is stable and democratic.”

Playing catch up, befuddled experts contend the thinking represented by that comment is not surprising.

“It’s a reaction to all the crazy things Republicans started doing since they took over the U.S. House and Senate in January,” said one wise commentator. She added, “The reds immediately began impeachment proceedings against President Joe Biden and Attorney General Merrick Garland. But the GOP did nothing to fight crime and inflation.  On top of that, Republicans voted to cut Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security.”

House members also vowed to put Vice President Kamala Harris in the Congressional dungeon if she continues to resist a subpoena to testify about the mental health of President Biden.

Led by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, Republicans started investigating “every aspect of the Biden crime family.”

Speaking from Canada, an independent who voted for Greene said, “This is nuts. It’s criminal. And it ain’t democratic. Who knew?”

Steve Schneider