[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Majorie Taylor Greene Press Conference Addresses ‘Evils of Woke Culture’

MTG unveils ‘WOKE’ icon to address the ‘evils of woke culture.’

Marjorie Taylor Greene called for a special press conference to address what she calls “the evils of WOKE culture.” She has just stepped up to the podium.

“I am here today to address the weakness that WOKE Culture is trying to infuse into America instead of helping to build a strong America, ready to defend our country like the January 6th patriots. In particular, I have come to expose the evil that is posing as Christian Faith. I am talking about WOKE Catholics like Pelosi and Biden, who go to church, but support the murder of babies and books about LGBTQ lives and gender changes to poison our children’s minds. In fact, we are investigating whether there is any connection to Hilary Clinton’s satanic child pornography organization unearthed by our reliable sources, QAnon and George Santos.

“In their stance against abortion and Leftist propaganda for children, Amy and Brett are closer to the true Faith of our country, their Catholicism similar to the Protestant American Faith of our forefathers. Sure they had to lie about their stands on these issues to be confirmed. What else would you expect from God-fearing Christians? And we know we can count on them even though their pope is soft on how to deal with the LGBTQ threat. But, of course, on the Supreme Court, our Catholic Golden Boy—er…Man is Clarence Thomas, who is as anti-WOKE as you can get.

“I have come to expose the WOKE Catholics and their craven image. I had the huge crucifix appropriated from Nancy Pelosi’s church and brought here today. I have removed the sign on the top that said “King of the Jews” (INRI), which never made sense anyway since Jesus was Christian after all. I have replaced it with what their icon actually personifies for them, WOKE worship. After the Great Divorce, in my Red America, WOKE worship would be outlawed and WOKE Catholics would get themselves nailed to crosses of their own. Kellyanne Conway was wrong; there is no alternative truth, only one truth, ours! Why do you think they call us The Right? Behold the Truth…”

MTG then unveiled this photo:

woke culture, crucifix
Original image by Dylan Richards, flickr.com (modified).
Diane de Anda