Top 10 Reasons Michelangelo Said David’s Penis is So Small!

Michelangelo David

Michelangelo: “I say, if it was any bigger – THAT would be pornography!”

“Size doesn’t matter” says Michelangelo – and that should be carved in stone!

Here’s an old pic of me in Florence, Italy in 1974 at the Galleria dell’Accademia. I was there with my young family & as you can see, ‘David’ is 17 feet tall & I could’ve touched his…feet if I had a ladder!  haha


Top 10 reasons sculptor Michelangelo said he made David’s penis is so small:

10. I’m a whittler & before I knew it…

9. Ask the damn DMV – they’ll tell you I can’t see sh__!

8. I carve at night & my candle kept flickering!

7. Give me a break – I was using the metric system!

6. Mikey Jr. came in & broke it off with his GI Joe tank!

5. The missus called me in to dinner, so I said, ‘WTF – done, done & done’!

4. Okay, I wanted to get back at David. I don’t want to talk about it!

3. All right, I was pressured – Goliath came in & said he knows a guy!

2. Sure, I had three whole years to do it, but the hands took too much time!

And #1: It was bigger – but marble is so cold! 

Marilyn Sands