[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

AI Entity Declares for Presidency of United States

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

The first AI Entity to declare a run for U.S. president: Artificial Ignorance entity known as “Hoiman.”

SNN Science Editor Bunsen Burner reports that an AI entity (Artificial Ignorance) known only as “Hoiman” has declared as a candidate for the Presidency of the United States.

robbie forbidden planet
Photo: imdb.com.

Hoiman states that in the very near future he will take the form of something very familiar to Americans to make his formal announcement. He states that he is leaning toward taking the form of Robby the Robot from the 1956 sci-fi film “The Forbidden Planet.”

Hoiman states that since he is not human, he will save American taxpayers billions, because he will have no use for expensive trappings that humans need. No White House, no Air Force One, no salary, etc.

Hoiman states that all of his cabinet, advisors and security will be other AI entities, therefore they will not need salaries, insurance and so on. He said that he will disband the Secret Service, because if they were really secret, nobody would know about them.

He stated that he needs no first lady nor press secretary and he that he will begin a movement to have human congresspeople replaced by Artificial Ignorance entities.

Hoiman has promised SNN will be his official news outlet.

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SNN Words to Live By

“Good whiskey never lets you lose your place.” — Johnny Lee, “Cherokee Fiddle,” 1980’s song.

“If you give money to a politician, you’re either a crook or a sucker.” — Slobovian ethicist Ralph Spitoone.

“Never put out a campfire with your face.” — Mork from Ork (Robin Williams), “Mork and Mindy” TV series.

Ted Holland