[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Marjorie Taylor Greene Lambasts Republican Contender Nikki Haley

MTG has harsh words for former governor and current Republican contender for the presidential nomination, Nikki Haley.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R. GA), representing the 6th congressional district since 2021, had harsh words for former South Carolina Governor and current Republican contender for the presidential nomination, Nikki Haley.

Republican contender Nikki Haley
Photo: Bill Clark (Roll Call), Public Domain.

Speaking at a whites-only fund-raising dinner in Charlottesville, Virginia on Monday, the congresswoman attacked the former U.N. ambassador as being transgender and “only playing at being a woman,” an accusation which echoes her recent statements regarding Admiral of the U.S. Public Health Service Rachel Levine.

“No chick has got hips that narrow,” charged Greene, accusing Haley of being a “woman-in-name-only.” Greene hinted that she also had top secret evidence that Haley “pulled a train” with beachcombers at Myrtle Beach in 2010 to scare up votes for her successful campaign to become S. Carolina governor. “Ol Nimrod campaigned on her back,” said Greene pointedly. Haley had no comment on the accusations.

“The Donald got this campaign sewed up,” claimed Greene. “Haley already lost a caucus and a primary; the writing is on the wall; what’s the bitch tryin’ to prove, anyway?”

New Republican National Chairwoman Lara Trump agreed, saying in a post on Truth Social following the event that “If the American public wanted a transgender president, they had their shot with DeSantis, and that went nowhere.”

Greene, at the dais at the Glass House Winery in Charlottesville, stood picking the rubber chicken from her teeth with a toothpick as she extolled former President Trump as the mostly likely future 47th U.S. chief executive. She also defended Trump in his battles against the justice system. “Man,” she said, “I’d like to get that Fani Willis in a leg scissors and just squeeze the shit out of her for what she’s doing to President Trump!”

Taking questions from the all-Caucasian gallery, Greene speculated on her own role in a new Trump administration, citing her credentials as having “a PhD in detecting bullshit. This would come in handy,” she speculated, “in possibly heading up the CIA, the FBI, or one of them other alphabet agencies.” As regards a future role for Nikki Haley, Greene snorted and said, “We can always find a place for an ambassador to some shit hole country.”

Bill Tope