"World's Funniest News Source"
 A progressive, populist uprising has achieved much in the past 15 months. What an amazing Democratic primary season it was! And we now have this happy result: WE WON! “We” being the millions of young … Read moreThe Populist Insurgency is Ratcheting Up
Tiffany commissioned to create matching crowns for Donald and Melania Trump Donald Trump is making plans to be crowned king. This, according to an unnamed source at Tiffany & Company in New York, who leaked … Read moreRevealed: Trump Plans for Coronation as King
Donald Trump pledges to blame socialists and Democrats when the Capitol Building is burned down shortly after he becomes president. WASHINGTON — Today, Republican presidential candidate and fascism-friendly billionaire Donald Trump dominated primary elections in … Read moreTrump Wins Big with Americans Regretting Not Growing Up in 1930s Germany
Actually, Bernie Sanders has already won Surprisingly, this week’s prize for “Stupidest Political Comment in the Presidential Race” doesn’t go to Donnie Trump or Ted Cruz. Rather, the honor goes to the clueless cognoscenti of … Read moreWhy Bernie Sanders Will, Should and Must Stay in the Race
Donald Trump occasionally stumbles into the lobby of the Correctomundo Hotel As evidenced by his hair, Donald J. Trump is pretty much wrong all the time. Every time. About everything. Except when he isn’t. One … Read moreTurns Out Trump is Right a Lot
âI canât believe you idiots actually voted for that hairless baboon,â hand-signaled Kiki, the orangutan identified as the biological father of Donald Trump. BRONX, NY — Kiki, the Bronx Zoo orangutan identified by TV theologian … Read moreOrangutan Father of Donald Trump in ‘Total Despair’ after NY Primary
The big-bucks GOP donor and casino mogul cited Sundayâs Boston Globe anti-Trump front page as the main motivator to purchase The Onion. LAS VEGAS â Casino billionaire Sheldon Adelson announced today that he had âaggressively … Read moreBillionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion
The Democrats are showing fangs: no longer just hopping around like baby rabbits playing tag in a shaded glen. And once again America reaches for the Tylenol after wrenching its collective back recoiling from the … Read moreDemocrats Riled, or Bunnies Grow Fangs
Karl Rove could be the party’s last resort to stop Donald Trump It is common knowledge that Donald Trump continues his popularity among the conservative populace who aren’t buying politics as usual anymore. They are … Read moreGOP to Bring in The Fixer: ‘Turd Blossom’ Karl Rove
The Koch brothers have decided that they will have to be the Republican presidential candidates themselves. An anonymous source has informed this reporter that the Koch brothers are at their wits end with the disaster … Read moreBREAKING: Koch Brothers Running for President