The Populist Insurgency is Ratcheting Up

Jim Hightower

 A progressive, populist uprising has achieved much in the past 15 months. What an amazing Democratic primary season it was! And we now have this happy result: WE WON! “We” being the millions of young … Read moreThe Populist Insurgency is Ratcheting Up

Revealed: Trump Plans for Coronation as King

Revealed: Trump Plans for Coronation as King

Tiffany commissioned to create matching crowns for Donald and Melania Trump Donald Trump is making plans to be crowned king. This, according to an unnamed source at Tiffany & Company in New York, who leaked … Read moreRevealed: Trump Plans for Coronation as King

Trump Wins Big with Americans Regretting Not Growing Up in 1930s Germany

Trump Wins Big with Americans Regretting Not Growing Up in 1930s Germany

Donald Trump pledges to blame socialists and Democrats when the Capitol Building is burned down shortly after he becomes president. WASHINGTON — Today, Republican presidential candidate and fascism-friendly billionaire Donald Trump dominated primary elections in … Read moreTrump Wins Big with Americans Regretting Not Growing Up in 1930s Germany

Why Bernie Sanders Will, Should and Must Stay in the Race

Jim Hightower

Actually, Bernie Sanders has already won Surprisingly, this week’s prize for “Stupidest Political Comment in the Presidential Race” doesn’t go to Donnie Trump or Ted Cruz. Rather, the honor goes to the clueless cognoscenti of … Read moreWhy Bernie Sanders Will, Should and Must Stay in the Race

Orangutan Father of Donald Trump in ‘Total Despair’ after NY Primary

Orangutan Father of Donald Trump in ‘Total Despair’ after NY Primary

“I can’t believe you idiots actually voted for that hairless baboon,” hand-signaled Kiki, the orangutan identified as the biological father of Donald Trump. BRONX, NY — Kiki, the Bronx Zoo orangutan identified by TV theologian … Read moreOrangutan Father of Donald Trump in ‘Total Despair’ after NY Primary

Billionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion

Billionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion

The big-bucks GOP donor and casino mogul cited Sunday’s Boston Globe anti-Trump front page as the main motivator to purchase The Onion. LAS VEGAS – Casino billionaire Sheldon Adelson announced today that he had “aggressively … Read moreBillionaire Sheldon Adelson Buys The Onion

Democrats Riled, or Bunnies Grow Fangs

Will Durst

The Democrats are showing fangs: no longer just hopping around like baby rabbits playing tag in a shaded glen. And once again America reaches for the Tylenol after wrenching its collective back recoiling from the … Read moreDemocrats Riled, or Bunnies Grow Fangs

GOP to Bring in The Fixer: ‘Turd Blossom’ Karl Rove

GOP to Bring in The Fixer: ‘Turd Blossom’ Karl Rove

Karl Rove could be the party’s last resort to stop Donald Trump It is common knowledge that Donald Trump continues his popularity among the conservative populace who aren’t buying politics as usual anymore. They are … Read moreGOP to Bring in The Fixer: ‘Turd Blossom’ Karl Rove

BREAKING: Koch Brothers Running for President

BREAKING: Koch Brothers Running for President

The Koch brothers have decided that they will have to be the Republican presidential candidates themselves. An anonymous source has informed this reporter that the Koch brothers are at their wits end with the disaster … Read moreBREAKING: Koch Brothers Running for President

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