[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Spontaneous Combustion of Trump Bibles Prompts Recall

Trump bibles recalled due to fire hazard.

In a bizarre development that gives new meaning to the phrase “You’re fired! the new Donald Trump Bibles are being recalled due to a serious risk of spontaneous combustion.

Trump Bibles combust
Trump Bibles spontaneously combust.

“We’re not sure exactly what’s going on here,” explained spokesman Noah Little, “but for some reason these books have been bursting into flames at the most inopportune moments, usually accompanied by pathetically cheesy music and a foul toad-like odor. It’s the damnedest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Trump himself blamed the phenomenon on  evil Joe Biden and all his baby-eating liberals. “It’s obvious,” he proclaimed, “that just like everyone else, Satan is out to get me. But I’ll deal with him!”

Thus far three churches, two Christian bookstores, and seventeen church vans have been completely destroyed by the fires. A number of  church officials have also been injured, including seven priests, two alter boys and, of course, a friar.

Ralph Lombard