By Michael Perlman
Trump said he was “joking” about ending the Ukraine war quickly. Here are some other memorable jests throughout history.
When President Donald Trump was reminded in an interview with Time magazine recently that he had said he would end the Russian war on Ukraine on “day one,” he claimed he hadn’t been speaking literally or seriously.
“Well, I said that figuratively, and I said that as an exaggeration, because to make a point, and you know, it gets, of course, by the fake news [unintelligible]. Obviously, people know that when I said that, it was said in jest, but it was also said that it will be ended,” Trump said, according to Time’s transcript.
Other Memorable Jests in History:
“Ideal working conditions: outdoors, lots of sunshine, supervised exercise, lifetime job security.” Ramses II, slave recruitment hieroglyph, 1232 B.C.
“Don’t be cross, Jesus, the view from up there will be great!” Pontius Pilate, 33 A.D.
“Those cute little rascals make fine house pets.” The Mayor of London, 1349.
“Women – can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em.” Henry VIII, 1547.
“All men are created equal.” Declaration of Independence, 1776.
[But not blacks, women, Asians, etc; 41 of the 56 signers were slaveowners.]
“We’ll serve them hors d’oeuvres, followed by vichyssoise, tomates fracies, gratin dauphinois, coq au vin, and boeuf bourguignon. For dessert, let them eat cake.” Marie-Antoinette, 1793.
“He was blocking my view of the stage”. John Wilkes Booth, 1865.
“A chicken in every pot.” Herbert Hoover Republican campaign flyer, 1928.
“The Jews are fine folk, they’re hard workers. I’m building a lot of luxury vacation resorts for them.” Adolf Hitler, 1939.
“We’re sending a friendship delegation to Hawaii.” Emperor Hirohito,1941.
“I am not a crook.” Richard Nixon, 1973.
“We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud.” Condoleezza Rice, 2003.
“Mission Accomplished!” George W. Bush aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln, 2003.
“Mexico will pay for the wall.” Donald J. Trump, 2016
“Covid will be gone by Easter.” DJT, 2020
“Hang Mike Pence”. Capital rioters, Jan. 6, 2020
“Those January 6 folks are patriots”. DJT, 2024.
“We find the defendant Donald J. Trump guilty on all 34 counts. ” Manhattan Jury, 2024.
[Ok, this isn’t a jest, but it gave him indijestion.]
“Vladimir and I have a great relationship.” DJT, 2025.
“I have complete confidence in Pete Hegseth – a great guy.” DJT, 2025
“Donnie is so cuddly, I can’t keep my hands off him.” Melania Trump, when Hell froze over.
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