[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump Family Busted for Streaking

Trump adult children cited as public nuisance after being taken in for streaking.

In a run up to the Iowa Caucuses, members of the Trump family were arrested Friday in Manhattan and booked on charges of indecent exposure, trespassing and causing a public nuisance. Former President Donald J. Trump‘s adult children — Eric Trump, Donald Trump, Jr. and Ivanka Trump — were apprehended by New York police for streaking, a public display of nakedness popular on college campuses across the U.S. in the 1970s. Upon his arrest, Eric Trump fled, while in handcuffs, and got as far as Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village before he was recaptured by an off-duty meter maid.

eric trump arrested for streaking
Trump family members were each perp walked. Image by FolsomNatural (modified), flickr.com, CC BY 2.0 DEED.

Donald Jr. also attempted to flee, but was wrestled to the ground by bystanders, who assisted the police in his capture. Ivanka, looking particularly fetching, au naturel, was said by onlookers to “glow with the exuberance of health and sexuality.” Motivation for the public displays was uncertain, but when members of the crowd asked to touch Ivanka’s skin, she granted them their wish, with the purchase of a Trump MAGA hat for a $75 donation.

The Trump children were subsequently released on their own recognizance, but Eric Trump was later arrested again, this time for urinating on the wall of Trump Tower, once the creme de la creme of Trump properties, but which now is in receivership.

When contacted at his Mar-a-Lago estate in Palm Beach, Florida, the ex-president said he “hardly knew his children” and “had no clue” what they were up to. He added that “Ivanka looked damn good” and “should charge twice as much to cop a feel.”

Bill Tope
Latest posts by Bill Tope (see all)
Share
Share