So called art: So far, the Art who sings with Paul Simon is escaping the presidential Sharpie.
The White House has released a list of Smithsonian Institution exhibits that are under review for harmful content, including art works, texts, and learning materials, plus the Institution itself for having flown the intersex-inclusive Pride flag.
President Donald Trump wielded his Sharpie and signed an executive order intended to excise “anti-American ideology” from the Smithsonian “so called art” exhibits.
“Taxpayer money should not be used for things that pit Americans against one another,” hissed Reichsfuhrer in Charge of Artistic Discipline Stephen Miller, stabbing an effigy of Adam Schiff with a ballpoint pen.
Such popular modern exhibits as Immokalee Statue of Liberty, which depicts the famed statue as an overweight immigrant woman, and other exhibits such as the Trans Forming Liberty and My Dreams are Not Illegal, another artistic statement on immigration, are in the president’s cross-hairs.
Trump’s actions have not been received well by artists, art critics, and others. However, Trump has gone one better, seeking to use United States military and economic influence to force removal of exhibits in other museums throughout the world. These include:
1. Mona Lisa – Leonardo da Vinci
Located in the Louvre Museum, Paris, this famous painting is perhaps the most recognized and most valuable piece in history. Created between 1503 and 1519, this painting features the mysterious smile that has fascinated viewers for centuries.
What Trump says: “This so-called artwork is overrated. Created by an LGBTQ 16th century wop, it is frankly unattractive. Mona is definitely not my type.”
2. The Starry Night – Vincent van Gogh
Housed in New York’s Museum of Modern Art, this landscape showcases van Gogh’s distinctive style. Created in 1889, this painting symbolizes the artist’s emotional intensity and unique vision.
What Trump says: “Just another dust jacket cover created by some homeless Frog. My son Barron can scribble something sharper than that. DEI gone wrong.”
3. The Birth of Venus – Sandro Botticelli
This Renaissance masterpiece in Florence’s Uffizi Gallery depicts Venus emerging from the sea.
What Trump says: “More IVF propaganda. I call it Venus on the Half-Shell. Pure crap!”
4. American Gothic – Grant Wood
This famous American painting at the Art Institute of Chicago has become a symbol of rural American values. It is one of the best-known paintings in American art history.
What Trump says: “My Vice President, JD Vance, chimed in on this one: He said that the homely broad is just another childless cat lady. And the farmer looks transgender.”
5. The Last Supper – Leonardo da Vinci
This famous fresco has endured for over 500 years. Located in Milan’s Santa Maria delle Grazie, this mural depicts the dramatic moment when Jesus announces that one of his disciples will betray him.
What Trump says: “This is a ripoff showing one of my cabinet meetings, where I tell my cabinet that John Bolton and Mark Milley and Mark Esper are gonna betray me. I deserve a 10 percent stake in the work, which is my standard rate. I’d go over it with drywall.”
Trump said he will levy 75 percent tariffs on both France and Italy if they don’t remove their exhibits, while if necessary he will instruct the Marines he has ordered deployed to Chicago and New York to seize the exhibits there and replace them with portraits of Trump himself.
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