Super Headline News Edition - Ted Holland, Humor Times

Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)

Super Headline News Edition: All the News That Fits (into a very small space).

Chicago Mayor to Deputize Infamous Street Gang to Combat Trump National Guard Invasion

Headline News - Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson — Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson, looking forward to the ruckus. Creative Commons, CC BY-SA 4.0.

Headline News: Mayor Brandon Johnson states, “The Blackstone Rangers will protect Chicago’s citizens from Trump’s government thugs.”

Breaking Education News

North Carolina Becomes First State to Arm School Kids

School systems to issue Glock Nines to all students between the ages of 8-16 to combat school shooters.

Breaking Science News

World’s Most Powerful Space Telescope Finds Elvis and Tupac Shakur.

Duo 13 galaxies away on Planet ZoomZoom found doing song and dance act as “Frikke and Frakke” at Club Bo Diddley.

SNN Words to Live By

“Everyday is day one.” — NFL QB Russell Wilson.

“Yesterday was great for yesterday.” — Actress Sheila Manners.

“Old age is a rotten muthafucka.” — Ted Holland.

The Question

Is Social Media the Antichrist?

Author’s pick: One of the many.

Answer to Last Issue’s Question:

Who’s Phone Number is Madison5-1190?

Answer: Perry Mason.

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Ted Holland

Ted holland attended college for four years. The year that he bothered to go to class he studied history. He majored in throwing quarters in the jukebox in the Student Union canteen and minored in a girl named Marsha. His books include This Day In African American Musicand B Western Actors Encyclopedia.