Trump’s List of Things to Do on His First Day in Office

He’s a business man, so you know Donald Trump has a list ready of things to do. Here they are.

Have Hillary and Bill ‘mysteriously’ disappear.

Trump's List of Things to DoFinalize deal with Putin on co-overseeing Russia’s oil industry.

Install a more ‘Trump friendly’ Director into CIA and have him assign a whole section to keeping an eye on Ex-President Obama.

H-bomb Shanghai to show Chinese he means business. (Those buttons were installed for a reason and he will be the first one to have the real guts to use them, by God!)

Move the White House to the Virgin Islands so that he can go to the beach after a days work.

Start a war somewhere to pick up the economy and give people a reason to rally around him, thereby diverting attention away from other things — like his bankruptcies and questionable Cabinet picks.

Use same war to cover other nefarious acts.

Sell Puerto Rico back to the Spanish because it is full of foreigners.

Have Melanie do press conferences in skimpy outfits for him to keep the press occupied.

Have his kids set up low-key money laundering businesses so that no one knows he still has a hand in his corporate enterprises.

Instead of building a wall on Mexico’s border, install millions of land mines. They would be cheaper and more entertaining for his followers.

Make an offer to buy Canada because of its oil reserves and should they refuse, invade them.

Buy Monaco as a gift and an investment for Baron.

Partition California into smaller ‘states’ to dilute their power and influence.

Using Federal funds have the Titanic raised and refurbished into a private Presidential yacht.

Make plans with his billionaire Cabinet members to set up the Treasury as a permanent backup cash stockpile in case any of their businesses fail much like Bush did in 2008.

Force Vermont out of the Union for voting blue and for being the home of Bernie Sanders.

Roger Freed