White House Intruder Finds Lost Easter Egg; Gets Purple Heart

This White House intruder was a little confused

“A White House intruder was wearing a red tie, ruddy complexion & fright wig. And, had a golf bag with him.”

Actually, Trump wasn’t on his way in — he was escaping!

White House intruderWhen apprehended, he looked disoriented and was throwing shredded Obamacare confetti over Michelle’s vegetable garden.

I take that back — he looked normal.

When cuffed, he kept on repeating, “It was Obama’s fault — he left the gate open!”

Under his breath he mumbled, “What does he know — in Africa they don’t have gates — wide open.”

“What did you say?”

“I said, I was only going 60 officer.”

“Do you know where you are, sir?”

“On the 18th hole?”

White House, Trump

“You’re in your 2nd month of office as President.”

“Well, I know I’m on somebody’s lawn.”

The bigger news story is — what are the odds Trump was at the White House and not on one of his mini-vacation sleep-aways?

But have no fear — Speaker Paul Ryan & Mitch McConnell are on the committee to search for a committee to vett a committee — and they’ll get to the bottom of this!

What’s amazing about catching this intruder in captivity is this wasn’t one of Trump’s imaginary tweets — it was a real forgotten man with unknown political affiliation who wanted to chat with his leader at 12 midnight.

“What color was he?”  Trump asked the Secret Service.

“White with a little Blusher,” Bob said.

White House, Trump, Putin

“You shoulda let him in — I have Revlon samples.”

“No, we have to interrogate him & put him on our watch list.”

“Well, it’s my way now — bring him in — I’m lonely.”

“Melania’s friend-time, sir?”

“How did you know?”

“We know what you eat, drink, how many times a night you go pee & Putin’s email address.”

“Me too!”

Marilyn Sands