[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Presidential Committee Finds Liberal ‘Big Words’ Conspiracy

The reason for the President’s use of one- and two-syllable words vs ‘big words’ has been revealed.

In an impromptu encounter on the White House steps, a small group of reporters asked President Trump whether it was true that a new report has been issued by a committee specially commissioned by the president that claims that the use of “big words” with three syllables or more by politicians is a liberal conspiracy.

trump big words
The President, indicating the preferred size of words.

President Trump smiled and replied, “Yes, it’s a great report, by a great group, and it was my great idea.”

“Can you explain why this is an issue worthy of study by a presidential committee?” queried a reporter.

“Sure,” the president responded immediately. “They use big words to try to confuse the public. It all begins with the word liberal. See what I mean: li-ber-al and con-spir-a-cy instead of clear and simple language like ‘plan.’ That’s why I only talk in words with one or two parts, so the people of our country know what I mean, no fake big word stuff.”

“But what about your followers who call themselves con-ser-va-tives?” called out another reporter.

“I’m glad you asked that, “ exclaimed Trump with a smirk. “Now you know why we changed it to ‘Alt Right!’”

“But what about the word ‘Re-pub-li-can?’ shouted another astonished reporter.

“I’ve been working on changing that since I got into office,” said Trump with a wink.

“But even pre-si-dent has three syllables,” quipped the reporter, shaking his head.

“Oh, I’m working on that too. There are so many words to choose from that are a better fit for me.”

At that point the president turned and walked away muttering under his breath, “lord, king, god.”

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Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda

Diane de Anda is a third generation Latina and retired UCLA professor. Tired of cranking out technical articles in a "publish or perish" atmosphere, she now spends most of her time writing adult fiction, children's books, parody, and satire. Her weapon of choice is the limerick, aimed with humor and a touch of malice at society's icons, celebrities, politicians, and other irritating folk.
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