Trump’s White House Custodian Cleans Up With Book of Secrets!

White House custodian

White House custodian and other staff detail Trump’s fascination with dicks & dictators in latest tell-all books!

Who doesn’t have a new book out spilling the Goya Beans on Trump’s idiosyncrasies? Even Trump’s White House custodian does!

Whether it’s former Gal-Pal Omarosa or former Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham (who turns out to be very ‘Cat-ty’) – everyone’s coming out of the woodwork with a book to diss & distance themselves from the last White House occupant!

Yes, it took a village to keep the feline President humming ‘Memory’ & here are just a few others who’ve started to put pen to paper:

His Butler, Usher, Valet, Doorman, Maid, Cook, Chef, Pastry Chef, Florist, Barber, Laundress, Housekeeper, Gardener, Plumber, Electrician, Groundskeeper, Calligrapher – someone who took McDonald’s wrappers out of his bed, refilled his Coke & Body-ShamWow’d his Resolute Desk!

Oh, and Barney – the White House custodian, who wrote a sizzler, and here’s an excerpt!

TRUMP:  Put the trash down & take a look at this, will ya!

BARNEY: (squinting)  I can’t see…where?

TRUMP:  C’mon man – you know.  Does that look like a mushroom?

BARNEY: You know, I could never tell the good ones from the poison ones!

TRUMP:  Forget about it!  Is yours like that?

BARNEY:  My what?

TRUMP:  Your…your member.

BARNEY:  I used to belong – but Racket Ball is out now – my knees.

TRUMP:  I’m just gonna have to see yours!

BARNEY:  Boss, this is a little out of my job description.

TRUMP:  You’re here, I’m here – open up!  It’s all over the media, I can’t take it anymore!

BARNEY:  (runs out of the oval office whimpering) 

I’ll go get a Doctor or a Cook!

Trump runs after him with his fly open, wheezes & stops at a ramp to reconsider.

TRUMP:  Nah, I wonder if the Plumber is busy!

It’s all in his Book!

Trump naked, White House custodian
Trump laid bare in new books!
Marilyn Sands