Cache of top-secret White House documents spotted on the moon: NASA’s moon shot will carry a DOJ search warrant.
When Orion touches down during NASA’s moon shot, it will be part of the longest search and seizure operation in history. Two FBI-bots aboard a black, SUV-style Lunar Rover will execute a federal warrant in an area known as the “Mar-a-Lago Crater.”
The DOJ signed off on the warrant when NASA forwarded pictures obtained by the Hubble telescope that show hundreds of file boxes and documents strewn across the lunar surface. Top Secret documents from Homeland Security, Defense, and the State Department were clearly identified, some bearing a handwritten note “Mine. All Mine. DJT.”
The DOJ also had obtained testimony transcripts from The January 6th Committee revealing that the former President was often observed humming Fly Me To The Moon during his final days in office.
Former NASA consultant, William Shatner, stated that it is surprisingly easy to move documents across our galaxy. “Any home Transporter device can dematerialize and beam up an object or person. That’s how I used to get to work from Canada most days.”
Reaction from Trump supporters was swift and angry. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis snickered “Those two robots look gay. You can just tell the way they look at you.” Trump’s legal team complained that the warrant has no standing in zero gravity. Fox news called the FBI operation “an elaborate liberal hoax to establish federally-run abortion clinics on the moon.” Meanwhile, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) proposed that instead of abortion clinics, lunar polling stations would be more helpful. “They would benefit the vocal minority who complain that lawful state voting regulations are somehow unfair.”
Former President Trump shrugged off concerns. “After we win the midterms, we’re just going to cancel the moon.”
- Elton John’s Ode to Yevgeny Prigozhin - September 4, 2023
- Original Barbie is Back: Klaus Barbie, ‘The Butcher of Lyon,’ Goosesteps into Toy Stores - August 15, 2023
- Trump’s 78 Charges Pass Barry Bonds for Second Place All-Time - August 7, 2023