[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Clown Prince Trump Lies … In State

The Clown Prince of Politics plans to cash in on the worldwide vigils for Queen Elizabeth II.

Donald Trump, aka The Clown Prince of Politics, has announced he will be lying in state at Mar-a-Lago so that devotees can shower him with love, respect and campaign donations.

Clown Prince of Politics at Mar-a-Lago
Mar-a-Lago, palace of Clown Prince Trump.

“I was watching the whole QE2 Westminster Hall thing on FOX, and I got choked up seeing the outpouring of love. Celebrities. Miles of people waiting to get in,” gushed Trump. “This is like the hugest rally. Ever. I want my people to have the same opportunity to adore me. And to bask in my gaze. Glow in my blissful smile. And then leave a check.”

The former president intends to create a Trump version of London’s Westminster Hall. Lounging in his favorite, 1885 antique carved Louis XIV bed, Trump will greet visitors filing past him with the signature slow, controlled royal wave.

Like Queen Elizabeth, Trump will have an Honorable Corps of Gentlemen at Arms. Mickey, Goofy and Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will stand guard over the lying former president.

A ceremonial salute by the Knights of the Ku Klux Klan will take place on the 18th hole of the Mar-a-Lago golf course. In the Grand Ballroom, the MAGA Boys’ Choir will sing a selection of Trump’s favorite hymns, including “Macho Man” by The Village People.

Heading the A-List of invitees is North Korean Dictator Kim Jung-un. “My little buddy,” said Trump. “I call him Little Kim. Not like Lil’ Kim the rapper. She’s mean to me.” Other VIPs are the usual MAGA Republicans, conspiracy theorists and anti-seatbelters. The former president has personally invited Oscar-winning actor/ bitch-slapper, Will Smith. “Maybe a fight will break out and goose up the ratings,” Trump enthused. Annie Leibovitz has confirmed that she will be the official photographer of all the white people.

Blowing a kiss to an imaginary crowd, an emotional Trump cried “All of this will be for you. My beautiful, dedicated, uneducated minions. I love you all!”

Reflecting upon his made-in-Florida event, Donald Trump mused, “It’s like that guy Macchiato (Editor’s Note: Machiavelli) said … “If you’re going to lie in state, pick a state that will really appreciate all your lying.”

David Wollman