[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump Joins Stars at Hollywood Bowl

A number of musical luminaries join the ex-president at the Hollywood Bowl to endorse him for the highest office in the land.

Appearing onstage at a sound check prior to an All-Star Extravaganza Fund-Raiser in support of Donald J. Trump’s run for president in 2024, a number of musical luminaries joined the ex-president at the Hollywood Bowl to endorse Trump for the highest office in the land.

Hollywood Bowl. Ted Nugent by DonkeyHotey
Ted Nugent caricature by DonkeyHotey, flickr.com.

Kanye West, with fresh discharge papers from a noted LA mental institution, claimed onstage tonight that he is joining industrialist Elon Musk in his lawsuit against the Anti-Defamation League, the foremost anti-hate group in the United States, over the ADL’s “concerted efforts to defame, besmirch, and disenfranchise white people like Elon and me.” Trump remarked that, while he is not officially joining West’s legal action, he “supports it to the fullest extent of my own whiteness.”

Another musical star, rock & roll legend Ted Nugent, one-time bass guitarist with The Amboy Dukes and avid Second Amendment advocate, said tonight that “Trump rocks.” He then went on to squeeze off 40 rounds on a 30.06, blowing 40 small animals to eternity. “If Trump is convicted for anything more serious than a traffic offense,” said Nugent, “I say we take it to the streets.”

“I’m pleased to announce,” intoned ex-President Trump, appearing onstage with a hot young blond woman,”the recruitment of Stefani Germanotta to the performing ranks of the Trump Campaign. Henceforth,” he said. “she will be known as Lady Maga.”

“Lady Maga was born in 1986 and you know, I have (unused) condoms older than that, but then, I don’t want to brag…”

The musical stars were joined onstage by non-musical icons James Woods, Roseanne Barr, and washed-up actors Gary Busey, Dennis Quaid and Jon Voight and others. “We waned to get everyone out here on stage, but there wasn’t much of anyone else left,” mumbled Kid Rock, who forgot what it was he once did for a living. Said Rock: “I am to show business what Mitch McConnell is to politics.”

Bill Tope
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