[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Biden Dissembles in State of the Union Address

An honest, on-site account by our conservative reporter, as Biden dissembles during SOTU.

By Llib Epot, Conservative Capitol Correspondent

Gasping and coughing and stuttering disgracefully, faux President Joe Biden dissembles, lies to the American people throughout his speech to the nation.

Biden dissembles
Photo: Office of the President of the US, Public Domain.

During the speech, he ranted about problems that are either nonexistent or are in fact not a problem at all. For example, Biden whined about so-called sexual violence against women. Just ask President Trump: most women are just asking for it.

Another “problem” claimed the ersatz President, is the failure of the nettlesome lower 98% of Americans at getting their “fair share,” whatever that may be. Imploring big government to grant every wish of the unwashed masses smacks of Communism and will not be accorded the dignity of a response, if patriots like Lindsey Graham and Tim Scott and President Donald J. Trump have anything to say about it!

Voting rights? Proportional Representation? Border control? Republicans have bigger fish to fry! The whole history of economic capitalism has centered not only on achieving all one can be, but in stopping the hoi polloi from doing the same thing. What good is a class system if classes cease to exist? All you end up is some sort of dystopian Star Trek world; people, Gene Roddenberry don’t exist no more.

There were a few highlights to the evening, however. One was Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (R. GA) courage in screaming her outrage — often and loudly — at Biden’s duplicitousness. Ah, that’s a filly I’d like to bridle.

Another was House Speaker Mike Johnson’s steadfast refusal to lay claim to Biden’s lost or disreputable causes. While feckless Kamala Harris leaped repeatedly to her feet to accord Biden his unwarranted accolades, Johnson sat weakly moving his head from side to side or heaving great sighs of disbelief. This led some of the morons on MSNBC to remark unkindly that the Speaker was constipated. Conducting an after-event interview with Johnson, I learned that he was in fact experiencing gastrointestinal difficulties. However that may be, I find it indelicate that they suggest that he “was full of shit.”

Bill Tope