[Disclaimer: This is a satirical news piece, just for fun, read at your own risk!]

Trump Sues Bruce Springsteen for Copyright Infringement

Former President files suit in a Manhattan court for copyright infringement against rock and roll legend Bruce Springsteen.

Former President Donald J. Trump has filed suit for copyright infringement in a Manhattan court against rock and roll legend Bruce Springsteen.

Bruce Springsteen
Trump not as impressed by Bruce Springsteen as Obama. Photo: Pete Souza, Official White House photographer, Public Domain

The action claims that Trump’s recent introduction of his gilded, $399 “No Surrender High Tops” sneakers has been “impeded in its marketing strategy” by the continued existence on American airwaves of Springsteen’s best selling tune “No Surrender,” which appears on the rocker’s 1984 album, Born in the U.S.A. The album has sold more than 30 million copies world-wide. Trump has to date sold only ten thousand pairs of shoes; the reason for the slow sales, avers Trump, is Springsteen.

When contacted regarding this action, Springsteen spokesperson Sarah Tufts said that the singer/songwriter was served papers Wednesday by a person whom insiders insist was former Trump attorney Rudy Giuliani. “He just snuck in,” said Tufts, “a seedy little man smoking this stinky cigar and taking nips from a paper bag. Soung right?” According to court papers, Trump is seeking $454 million in “compensatory damages” in addition to $91 million in “punitive damages.”

The amount of the alleged damages, identical to Trump’s adjudicated indebtedness in the Manhattan business fraud case and the E. Jean Carroll defamation case, respectively, are, according to Trump legal representative Alina Habba, “merely a coincidence.” She added that her client is “richer that Croesus already and only “wants to do the right thing.”

Related News
: According to Trump attorney John Eastman, the 45th president has filed preliminary papers in Rome preparatory to bringing suit against the Catholic Church on a similar charge of copyright infringement.

The action, contends Eastman, stems from Trump’s recent unveiling of the new “God Bless the U.S.A. Bible.” Eastman said that while the Catholic iteration of the Bible was in fact written long before Trump’s version came out, it is because the once –“and still” — president can do “anything he wants.” according to the U.S. Constitution. This action could prove auspicious for the ex-president, who has been feeling a financial pinch in recent weeks. “

And the Catholic Church,” said Eastman gleefully, “is loaded!”

Bill Tope