Trump said he’ll address Congress clad in a vivid red wiener costume. The outfit will be emblazoned with “Oscar Mayer.”
President Donald J. Trump, no stranger to controversial promotional methods, has vowed to address a joint session of Congress clad in a vivid red wiener costume. The outfit will be emblazoned with “Oscar Mayer” in large block letters.
Trump said he recently sold “a substantial quantity” of meme coin, the Trump-branded crypto tokens, to the Kraft-Heinz Corp., parent company of the 100-year-old hotdog purveyor. Kraft-Heinz is a $30 billion food empire and produces many iconic brands. This, said Trump, was payback for Kraft-Heinz’s loyalty to the U.S. and to the Trump family.
Speaking to reporters from the wood-fired BBQ grill on the lanai at Mar-a-Lago on Sunday, Trump was cooking up burgers and wieners and other meats for his guests, a storied collection of Trump Administration functionaries. As he read off their names, members approached the grill with paper plates and accepted their treats, prepared by Trump with a personal touch.
DoD Secretary Pete “Happy Hour” Hegseth took his pork steak “raw, with Tabasco.” “Don’t get worms, now, Pete,” Trump kidded his Secretary of Defense. Next up was Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R. GA), who took her 12-inch length of smoked sausage and immediately stuffed it completely into her mouth. “That’s the Trump-length sausage,” said Trump with a twinkle.
Asked by the press how much Kraft-Heinz had invested in meme coin, Trum replied that “it was enough to get my wiener shaking,” and he laughed. The president’s remarks were drowned out by Elon Musk, wielding a chainsaw and cutting down trees in order to provide fuel for the grill.
Trump was asked by reporters if other “loyalist” companies and individuals were being similarly honored in the way that Oscar Mayer would be. Trump flipped several rashers of bacon, which he said he was preparing for George Soros, and replied, “No, I think this will be it for awhile. I don’t want to diminish the prestige of the presidency.”
Since last month, some 58 wallets have profited to the tune of $1.1 billion off of meme coin, while some 764,000 have “lost their shirts.” The Trump family has received $2.7 billion in earnings. Trump said that, “as with everything in life, it’s a zero-sum game. If the rich are gonna win, then the poor gotta lose. It’s all good.”
Trump has been fiercely promoting his stake in meme coin, promising that the 220 largest investors in meme coin will be feted at a dinner at the Trump National Golf Club in Washington D.C. in late May. The 25 biggest investers will be treated to a reception and a tour at the White House, plus “20 minutes apiece with Ivanka or Melania” in the Lincoln bedroom.”
Congress has launched an investigation into whether $Trump meme coin constitutes a conflict of interest for the president. “It’s all a witch hunt,” bellowed Trump, polishing off a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke. “They’re just jealous because I am very, very rich.”
Since January, more than $324 million in trading fees have been routed to wallets tied to the project’s creators, according to insiders speaking on condition of anonymity. “I got nothing to hide!” said Trump. “Basically, I’m a freaking bookie; so sue me!”
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