Dispatches from SNN (Slobovian News Network)
In order for democracy to survive, every single American must run for President in 2028, says theorist.
“In order for democracy to survive, every single American must run for President in 2028.”
Those are the words of eminent political theorist and activist Dr. Gitte Iytte Dunne, Chairman of The International Discombooberative to Save Democracy.
Dr. Dunne explains that democracy is an endangered species and is under attack from the right and the left. The only way to save it is for every single one of America’s 170 million registered voters to declare themselves a presidential candidate for the 2028 election, he says.
With that in place on voting day in November of 2028, each voter would go to the polls and vote for themselves. That would result in a 170 million way tie for President.
Dr. Dunne states that running for president is quite easy: you need to be a human born in the USA, be at least 35 years old, have lived in the US for the last 14 years, and raise 5 thousand bucks in your home state. You can run as a Republican, a Democrat, an independent or as an Individualist, or you can form a one-person political party.
He said that the earlier you declare, the quicker you can start filling your campaign war chest.
Breaking News
TSA Announces That Passengers May Now Keep Their Underwear On During Airport Strip Searches.
President Trump Defunds Radio Free Slobovia.
SNN Words to Live By
“Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.” — Fletcher (John Vernon), The Outlaw Josey Wales film.
“You’ll know who I am by the song that I sing.” — New Christy Minstrels, “Today” album, 1960 song.
“Every family’s got one black sheep, some got two.” — Morgan Hickman (Henry Fonda), The Tin Star, 1958 film.
The Question
When did you last exercise your Polo Ponies?
Author’s pick: I did it online last Tuesday.
Special Question for Slobovians Only
How many Fumpeldinckts in a Wooosch Wooosch?
Author’s pick: Gnwompf.
Answer to Last Week’s Question
Who was the movie’s first Superman?
Superman came to the screen in 1941 as a cartoon. Bud Collyer was his voice. In 1948, the screen’s first live action Superman was Kirk Alyn.
A personal note: This writer recently received his PHD in Depraved Indifference from the University of Pissepioux in Slobovia.
