News of the Future: Jan. 20th, 2017 – Blue states population rounded up
Our beloved new President for Life Donald Trump has declared as the first decree of his new administration the transporting of all residents of the liberal blue states who voted against him to gulags.
During his Historic Celebratory Victory over the liberal oppressors the Conqueror Trump has declared all inhabitants of said blue states to be traitors for having opposed him and thereby prison fodder.
In a secret deal negotiated long before he was elected our Glorious Leader contracted Russian laborers who were experts in the field of political prisoner encampment and had them build pre-fab prison structures under the directives of his buddy and mentor the Great Russian Hero Vladimir Putin.
The facilities where built in secret in Siberia and are now being transported by ship and plane to be constructed in the remoter parts of Alaska, Montana and Nevada. The funding for this huge endeavor is being drawn from Trump’s own war coffers, from assets taken from the estates of the liberals imprisoned and from fundraisers put on by his legions of loyal followers such as ‘Make America Safe from Anyone Who Thinks Different’ or ‘Making America Great Again by Having Jailed Democrats Build the Wall Between the U.S. and Mexico.’
Residents of all the upper Atlantic seaboards states, the Pacific coast states, Hawaii and the upper Midwest states were awakened late the same night by Trump’s personal ‘Agents For The Preservation Of Freedom’ army and ushered into waiting buses for their deportation to holding centers for processing. The entire populations of the swing states Nevada, Ohio, Florida, Virginia and Colorado were put under house arrest until their party affiliation could be determined or until they could be coerced into ‘joining’ the only true patriotic side of the political curtain.
Hedonistic Democratic organizations who claim to be dedicated to the ‘restoration’ of freedom in America have been protesting this modern day pogrom only to be cut short by Trump’s minions who immediately denounced them as deviates and had them arrested. Hillary Clinton herself and her entourage were apprehended right after the last vote was counted and Trump announced the victor. They were pilloried outside the White House and suffered the abuse of having rotten vegetables thrown at them while the females were groped in their personal plumbing by hard core Trump trolls. Hillary and her husband Bill afterwards were taken before a firing squad and shot after being marched handcuffed through the streets with white cones on their heads, their last words being “But we could work together!”
Shortly before the departure of the newly criminalized leftists for their much deserved destinations, our Illustrious Fuhrer Trump reiterated that “being enemies of the state, the prisoners were to be stripped of their rights and wealth and, if they were a reasonably sexy woman between the age of 15 and fifty, of being stripped of her clothes as well. The women were to be used as slaves or sexual pets in the households of Loyal Republicans while the men were sent to be work drones in the factories of Trump’s new Presidential Material line of up scale clothing.
“Let this be a lesson to all,” stated Trump during his first communication with the American public as The People’s President, “I am here to stay and I don’t need no interference from weak mined liberals with my plans. Anyone who has a problem can come and talk with my new vice President Vladimir Putin who is taking the place of that lousy Benedict Arnold Tom Pence who tried to sell me down the river. Well, now he is no longer the VP and gets to see what the floor of a prison tastes like because that is what he is now chained to. Let that be a warning to all defectors in my camp from now on.”
Our Illustrious Leader Trump then immediately went on a tour of North Korea to become buddies with Kim Jong Un, to explore investment opportunities there and to study Un’s incredibly well organized dissident prison system.
Latest posts by Roger Freed (see all)
- New Species of Vampire Discovered (and They’re in Your Bank!) - December 4, 2019
- The Vampire and the Vamp - October 29, 2019
- Don’t Feel Up to Carving and Cleaning Your Pumpkins? Let Vegan Zombies Do It for You! - October 27, 2019